Since it looks like we're going to be constantly going to war with other countries for the rest of our lives (Thanks Presidents!) we might as well start going to war with places that it would at least be fun to fight. If Barack or Mitt Romney take us into war with Iran it'll be really depressing because we'll be fighting actual human beings just like us with families and jobs and all that, so I submit that instead of going to war there we should go to war with one of these places instead!
Hogwarts
North America has the largest military budget in the world, we expend 42% of the world's military spending with China the closest to us with a mere 7.3%, and we're the number one seller of weapons in the world, if there's a war happening somewhere, our guns are probably the ones getting fired. if we're going to go to war we should at least fight someone like Hogwarts who actually has a chance. Plus I'm sure the Pentagon would love to get it's hands on some Hogwarts weapons technology, like wands, or those jelly beans that taste like someone farted.
Grayskull
Unlike countries like the ones we go to fight, where our motives for going to war with them are questionable, and the countries themselves are full of normal humans just like us, it's pretty damn clear that Skeletor is a huge dick and his soldier are an army of a-holes.
Taylor Lautner
I just think it's about time more countries declared war on Taylor Lautner
Utah
It's obvious that Utah's secretly been planning a coup against the rest of the country for years.
England
England's not doing anything wrong, and they're our allies, I just think it would be funny to catch them with their pants down.
Heaven
Seriously, how tough would that be. Plus I want to see the kind of firepower angels are packing.
The Pretty Little Liars
Those liars are so pretty and adept at lying they would totally outmatch us no matter how many machine guns we brought to shoot them with. They'd just use their cruel feminine wiles to outsmart us into having low esteem and walking away with our tails between our legs.
Where do you want to go to war next? Let us know in the comments!
Comments
Post a Comment