Real life can be terrifying. Especially if you’re someone who spends all day on the internet like myself, then ALL real life can seem terrifying. But nothing is scarier than the thought of having no control over your own fate in your own home. Which is why I thought it would be awesome to write about the 5 coolest hauntings. Trust me, I’m from the internet…
5. THE BELMEZ FACES
Ai Dios Mio! Es Frecuentado! DONDE ESTA LA BIBLIOTECCA!!!!???? What do you want? I got like a C minus in Spanish. But when I read about the Belmez Faces I nearly C minused my pants. Basically what happened is this woman was living in a house in Spain in the early 1970s and saw that her concrete had warped and faded into the shape of a face. Now what do you think the over under is on this place being built on a burial ground? Spoiler alert! This place was built on an old, 1800’s burial ground. Although I feel like with all the wars they had, all of Spain is a burial ground. But anyway…
So after this woman saw the faces her husband and son were so freaked out that they removed the concrete with a pick ax and low and behold, no more faces. Until a short while later when their DIY Lowe’s weekend ended up revealing more face shaped concrete.
To this day people still visit the house in Jaen, Spain. They tend to ignore the fact that the faces were most likely created by silver nitrate, which reacted to the choppy sunlight in the building. And hey, they looked a lot more realistic than potato chip Jesus.
4. THE BORLEY RECTORY
Speaking of Jesus, legend has it that hundreds of years ago a young nun and a young Monk fell in love. Which would have been fine if everyone didn’t go all ape sh*t and forbid their marriage. It was like a sassy, quirky “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner” except that the Monk was hanged and the nun was walled up in her convent and starved to death. So…there’s that…
Then in the mid 1800s a rectory was built on the land all of this took place, and immediately there were claims of it being haunted. And when an investigator/early ghost hunter went to check the place out, he kept very accurate records of what happened. At the time a young Reverend and his wife were living there because of course they were and one of the biggest paranormal encounters in history was documented.
The wife, Marianne Foyster, began to find scratching and what looked like attempted writings in the walls all over the house. She would try and leave messages back but would only find more scratching. After learning about the nun, the investigator held a series of séances because of course he did. And in one of these, he predicted that the house would eventually burn to the ground and reveal the remains of the wrongfully killed nun.
1944. The property burns to the ground and the remains of a young woman are found underneath. Because of course they were.
3. BASICALLY ANYTHING JAMES DEAN TOUCHED
We know the stories of his Porsche. After he died it fell off the stands while on display and nearly killed a small child. This was of course after it had ruined several other lives. But a lesser known Dean story is that the house he grew up in, in Alberta Canada, was very, very haunted.
It was actually a mobile home. Although not like a trailer, just like a cool house that got moved after the Dean family left and the government had to make way for a railroad. So it became a boarding house. Until a boy committed suicide in the house after being relentlessly teased by his classmates. Then a young couple lived there with their two children. Until the dad went crazy and killed his wife, then himself.
And so today it’s still considered haunted as people have heard random, unexplained laughter and strange visuals. Basically James Dean’s whole approach to acting. And like his Porsche Spyder, this house is the haunted gift that keeps on haunting.
2. THE AMITYVILLE HOME
So Long Island is weird, I get it. But in the 70s this place housed one of the most tragic family murders in Amurrcan history. A 23 year old murdered 6 of his family members and still, to this day, has never given a reason. I say to this day because the guy is still alive and in prison with no chance of parole (here’s my surprised face).
So then a family moves in because life is a movie and guess what, they experience some weird stuff. The weirdest being cloven footprints attributed to a giant pig mysteriously appearing outside the house in the snow one morning. This, nor any of the other events have been explained. And I haven’t seen the film but just reading about all of this is enough to make me want to stay out of Long Island forever. Although Long Island is pretty much enough reason to want to stay out of Long Island forever.
1. THE DYATLOV PASS INCIDENT
Okay so this one isn’t a house, but it’s still scary as hell. Basically these Russians were hiking in the woods, camped out, and mysteriously killed. The reports came back and none of it made sense. From Wikipedia…
Six of the group members died of hypothermia and three of fatal injuries.
There were no indications of other people nearby apart from the nine travelers on Kholat Syakhl, nor anyone in the surrounding areas.
The tent had been ripped open from within.
The victims had died 6 to 8 hours after their last meal.
Traces from the camp showed that all group members left the camp of their own accord, on foot.
To dispel the theory of an attack by the indigenous Mansi people, Dr. Boris Vozrozhdenny stated that the fatal injuries of the three bodies could not have been caused by another human being, "because the force of the blows had been too strong and no soft tissue had been damaged".
Forensic radiation tests had shown high doses of radioactive contamination on the clothes of a few victims.
So was it a haunting? Was it 1950’s Russian nuclear testing? Was it ManBearPig? Nobody knows! But if you guys figure it out let me know by tweeting at me @danborrelli or by leaving a comment below. Stay safe out there Smoshers!
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