5 Jobs Bear Grylls can do now that 'Man Vs. Wild' is Canceled

Mikey McCollor

As a man who climbed to the summit of Mount Everest just 18 months after breaking his back, Bear Grylls is not a man who lets adversity get him down. But after his television show, Man Vs. Wild, was cancelled today, Bear Grylls finds himself facing a whole new challenge: today's economy. But considering the fact that Grylls has some pretty unique skills, there are some jobs he might be uniquely qualified for.

 

Gander Mountain hiking clothes salesman

(source)

Who would know better than Bear Grylls what coat would be best for a forty one year old man who's hoping to bond with his son by taking him out camping? Actually, now that I think about it, the answer is anybody else in the world because Bear Grylls would suggest the Marmot Men's Aegis Rain Jacket while anyone else would suggest he sit down with his son and ask him about his life, his friends, his worries.

 

Barber

(source)

Grylls has cut his own hair in the wild hundreds times, so he clearly has the experience. I mean literally no one would ever like their haircut even a little bit, but let's be honest. No one likes their haircut anyways, whether it was done by a feral man with a hunting knife or a high school dropout at Supercuts.

 

Line Place holder for iPads

(source)

If the people who want the new iPad but don't want to wait in line hire Bear Grylls to wait for them, everyone comes out a winner. They get the new iPad on launch day while Grylls gets to battle a whole new survival environment — the part of the mall across the way from the Cheesecake Factory.

 

Astronomer

(source)

Whenever anyone loses their jobs, I suggest they get a degree in astronomy because NASA is always looking for more sets of eyes to look out asteroids. At hope they're always looking for more sets of eyes to look out asteroids, because I am terrified of asteroids.

 

Federal drug test administrator

(source)

By testing the urine of government applicants, Bear Grylls would ensure he would never get thirstyOH GOD SO GROSS WHY WHY WHY.

What job would you suggest for ole' Bear? Let us know in the comments below!

 

Check out the Best of the Bear Grylls Meme!

Comments