8 Worst Kinds of Bullies

Mikey McCollor

Bullying is a major issue for many kids and teens, and there’s been a LOT of controversy about the movie Bully that is coming out this week. Turns out, the MPAA decided to rate it “R,” for some reason, which kind of defeats the point since schools wouldn’t be able to screen it with that rating and teens wouldn’t get to see it in the theaters. The movie’s producers decided to release it “unrated” because the MPAA can go screw off. Here’s the trailer.

There’s more to bullying than pushing some kid into the lockers and calling him gay while you take his lunch money. Subtle bullying can be just as cruel. Here’s some of the worst kind of bullies.

 

Gossiping bully

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As the most indirect form of bullying, gossip-y whispers can not only make you feel bad but can make you paranoid that everyone is talking behind your back. But remember — whispers can't hurt you. Unless they become tangible, physical whispers. Whispers capable of walking, talking, and fighting. But that could only happen if the were hit with a Whisper Personification Ray... like the one that was just stolen from the lab yesterday.

 

Your quote unquote "Friend"

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This is the kid who holds your friendship hostage to get you what they want from you. "If you don't give me your Crispy M&Ms this friendship is over." First of all, friendships involve a certain amount of give-and-take. Second of all, your friendship is only worthwhile if it makes me feel better about myself, not worse. And third of all, they don't even make Crispy M&Ms anymore so are these Crispy M&Ms time travelers?!

 

Facebook bully

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Our Facebooks have become a very personal, public place. The words written on our pages can't be brushed off as online noise anymore. They carry weight. Because of this, it's easy to feel bad when something hurtful shows up on your wall, but I find that creating some emotional distance from Facebook is helpful. Not only because of bullying potential but because Facebook can be annoying as Hell. Seriously Mom, stop asking me for horse treats in Farmville. I love you but I literally hate you.

 

Team of bullies

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There is power in numbers, and some bullies take advantage of that. It really just highlights how afraid they are — they can't even do their bullying by themselves. Besides that, there are so many reasons better than bullying to assemble a team, such as winning a bowling championship or stopping Loki the Trickster God in this summer's The Avengers opening May 4th.

 

Popular bully

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There's always that one kid who plays a bunch of sports and has a ton of friends and seems to be well-liked by all the teachers. But the worst part is how they dominate the class during roundtables discussions in Literature class. But when it's just you and them alone, they act like a huge jerk to you to stroke their ego. Don't let them hold power over you — they don't understand the obtuse metaphors in The Scarlet Letter any more than you do.

 

Video game bully

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What is it about X-Box Live that brings out the worst in people? Getting called names in Call of Duty is annoying, yes, but it usually only comes out when you're winning, so take that to heart. People get so angry about video games because they know, deep down, underneath all the Doritos and Mountain Dew Code Red, that they are the biggest n00bs of all. And then they play Michael Jackson's "Man in the mirror" and cry to themselves for hours.

 

Peer pressure bully

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Some bullies will push you to do things you don't want to do by utilizing peer pressure. It's hard to do, but know that any time you're pressured to do something you aren't into, you have the power to say no. And good God do you have to remember that when you're being peer pressured to smoke. If peer pressure was running for a second term, it would point to smoking as its' greatest accomplishment. I don't even want to say smoking is bad, I don't think it even makes sense. Who has ever said to themselves "It's been too long since I've had time to suck some hot poison into my mouth so I could smell weird"?

 

Scared on the inside bully

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Turns out, this is every bully. Confident people have no reason to do it. It's all fear-based — they're hoping that by bullying someone they perceive as weaker than themselves, no one will see how fearful they are. Being in a constant state of fear is an awful way to live your life. Just ask Eddie Murphy — maybe if he could peel away some of the layers of fear that consume him he'd stop doing children's movies and finally make Beverly Hills Cop 4. I don't care if it's not as good as the first one, Eddie Murphy! It'll at least be better than 3!

 

What's the worst kind of bully you've encountered? Let us know in the comments below!

 

Check Out Reasons That Bully Is REALLY Picking On You !

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