Like the great You Got Your Peanut Butter In My Chocolate, You Got Your Chocolate In My Peanut Butter treaty of the 1980s, sometimes we are lucky enough to have two opf the greatest things come together. Today is one of those days, as the folks at StabYourself.net have created an amazing Super Mario Bros/ Portal mash-up game called Mari0 that you can download for free right here.
If you are as excited by this as I am you are a hero.
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The game has a level editor, online multiplayer, and all the tools and toys found in the Portal games. So while this release is amazing, it raises the question: Why doesn't the Portal Gun appear in every game? It makes me so frustrated to think that the ubiquitous feature added to every video game was not Portals and instead those goddamn quicktime events.
Pictured: A much less fun movie.
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But honestly, what better move could the video game industry make than straight-up putting the Portal gun in every single game? Can you look me in the eye and say you wouldn't be stoked to play Gears of Wortal? Grand Theft Auto Fourtal?
Pictured: Bulbasaurtal. Soon to be pictured: Me killing myself.
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And you know what? I'm going to take it one step further. Everything should use the Portal gun. They should use the Portal gun in the Senate. That stupid mexican bakery around the corner that only takes cash should have a Portal two blocks down to 7/11's ATM.
Trampoline salesmen are missing out on a gold mine.
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The point is, Portals are really fun and I want them to exist in real life. For the love of God, Europe's economy is about to collapse, America is on the brink of war with Iran, and the world is about to reach peak oil — we need something to distract us from the horrors of the world. If only we could send those fears through a portal.
Are you going to play Mari0? Let us know in the comments below!
Check out 30 Mario Motivators!
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