Prom is an important marker on the road of life. It's a time when boys and girls finally get up the courage to sneak flasks of bad alcohol into a school event and fail at making out with each other in the gymnaseum bathroom. The traditional music choices tend toward the sappy or retro, but they should not if prom is going to be the best it can be. Instead, the music should be dub step, and here are few reasons why:
It Scares The School Mascot Into Attacking The Prom Queen
No animal can listen to Dub Step without being terrified into a deep and powerful need to defend itself.
Awkward Slow Dancing, A Thing Of The Past
Just try slow dancing to a Skrillex song about a little girl blasting fireballs at a pedophile to tear him to shreds, it ain't easy, to say the least.
It Makes The Principal Nervous
And when he's nervous he sweats, and when he's sweaty his glasses don't stay on his face, so he can't see what naughty things students are doing on the dance floor.
The Vampires From Underworld Love That Kind Of Sh*t
Parties are always way more fun with the vampires from Underworld show up.
It's What's Hip
Nothing is more important than being hip right? Do they still call it "being hip"? Oh God is it called being cool now? Or something else? Oh no now I'm not cool!
Dub Step Eliminates Acne
The reverberations from Dub Step are so powerful that any people within a 50 foot radius of it instantly bursts. Leaving faces clean and ready to be made out with.
Dub Step Opens The Seventh Seal
The seventh seal is the final seal keeping us from the end of times, when God will come down and smite us all, dooming us to an eternity of fire and pain! And who's not excited for the end times?!
Why else should Dub Step be at Prom? Let us know in the comments!
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