Shows On The Disney Channel If The Disney Channel Was In North Korea

Daniel Dominguez

During the Korean War in the 1950's the United States so totally brutalized and ruined life in the country of North Korea that the country and its people barely survived. Crushed by the horror of the civilian casualties and the shocking violence of the United States the country essentially went insane, and isolated completely, like a child that had been so abused by its parents that as an adult it grew to live silently and alone in a dark and musty basement apartment, scared even to hear the mailman come around.; slowly going madder and madder from the years spent alone. This, of course, naturally begs the question: what would Disney Channel shows be like in such a place?

 

Hannah Montana Forever

Similar to the American version of the show, except individualism is not allowed so Hannah Montana joins the Kim Jong Il memorial dance team. In episode 1 she attempts to display her own personality by breaking into a song about having fun with your friends in a Jeep during the middle of a ceremony, and is publicly executed for non-conformity.

 

Fish Hooks

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The North Korean version of "Fish Hooks" still involves three fish who are best friends, except because there is so little food in the country they are immediately caught, beaten against a tree untli they are unconscious and transported to the capitol to be eaten by party officials.

 

Jonas Brothers 

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The Jonas Brothers love giving up their identities to their masters, so they quickly fit in, and rise to the level of party officials. The tension sets in when Kevin Jonas is given a more favorable position within the party than the other two because he caught a traitor planning to escape North Korea and killed her with his own bare hands, culling favor from Kim Jong-un himself.

 

Kim Possible

An Ultra Spy for the party apparatus, Kim Possible goes undercover in ordinary North Korean families and listens for any sign of malcontent at the quality of life provided by the party. If she senses even the slightest hint of wavering loyalty she feeds the offending man, woman, or child to her pet gofer "Kim-Jong-un," whom she named after the Great and Glorious Leader Kim Jong-un, whom she loves with all her heart as any good citizen would.

 

Sonny With A Chance

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Sonny is gratified beyond belief to be chosen to be one of the most important components of the yearly ceremony of music and dance to honor the Great Leader.

 

The Suite Life Of Zach And Cody

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Zach and Cody totally score when their mom lands a posh job as a maid in an old Korean War era bomb shelter that a party official has turned into a bathroom for his goats.

 

That's So Raven

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Raven's psychic powers are harnessed by North Korean party scientists and turned into a cannon that fires psychic waves at South Korean soldiers to turn their skin inside out!

 

What are other Disney Shows like in North Korea? Let us know in the comments!

 

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