Real talk? Celebrities are paid to show up and look good – that's it. We don't care what (or if) they think, and we sure as hell don't care if they graduated top of their class. The intellectual bar for famous folks is set pretty damned low (and is met by your average reality celebutard). Not all celebrities are complete and utter morons, though – some are actually, gasp, SMART. And they're the ones you'd least expect.
Cindy Crawford
90’s über babe Cindy graduated valedictorian of her high school class and snagged a sweet scholarship to Northwestern (where she majored in the majorly smart field of chemical engineering). Schwing!
Dolph Lundgren
Primarily known for grunting whilst holding large guns, the Dolphster actually has an IQ of 160. He went to MIT on a Fulbright scholarship, speaks five languages and has a masters in chemical engineering (what’s with these 90s celebrities and their obsession with chemical engineering?).
Raven
Rasslin’ Hall of Famer Raven was studying to be lawyer at the University of Delaware before he got paid to hit people over the head with chairs (which, in case you were wondering, is totally against the law IRL).
Lisa Kudrow
To most, Lisa’s defining characteristic is that she played a total dingbat on Friends. To me, she’ll always be known as that chick who got a BS from Vassar, worked in medical research for eight years, then threw it all away to play a total dingbat on a ten season-long Gap commercial.
Asia Carrera
If any strata of celebrity is especially paid not to think, it’s porn stars. Asia Carrera, however, actually has just as much brains as boobs. As a child, she was a piano prodigy who played Carnegie Hall TWICE before the age of 13. She was also a state spelling champion, National Honor Society and National Mathematics League member, and attended Rutgers on a scholarship (that is, until she decided to drop out and become a stripper).
Ron Jeremy
Ron "The Hedgehog" Jeremy is another adult...uh...entertainer who can do more than “it.” He has a masters degree in special education, and was a teacher in New York before givin’ it all up to give it all up (on camera, that is).
Dexter Holland
”Pretty Fly for a White Guy?” Pretty stupid song. But the dude what did write it? Actually not stupid. The lead singer of The Offspring has a masters in molecular biology from USC – he was working on his PhD when he dropped out to pursue his dreams of creating pop punk.
Tyra Banks
The model/diva/talk show host graduated from Harvard Business School earlier this year. In fairness, however, she graduated from a two-week course that took her a year to actually complete. But...Harvard! GURL!!
Shakira
You like to watch her shake her butt. She likes to study ancient civilizations, speak five languages and intimidate you with her 140 IQ.
Victoria Zdrok
Victoria Zdrok is a remarkable creature. Not only does she have big bazooms, but the former Playboy Playmate has a big list of academic accomplishments. She full-on SKIPPED high school, dude. Graduated summa cum laude at age 18. Has a law degree AND a PhD in psychology. And did I mention her sweet bazooms?
Natalie Portman
She’s totally Luke Skywalker’s mom. She also graduated high school with a 4.0 GPA and has a Psychology degree from Harvard. Showoff.
Any other inexplicably intelligent celebs I forgot to put on the list? Let me know in the comments, or tell me @Bornferal!
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