Tired of getting STDs? I know I am. Well, now you don't have to! How? With this amazing device:
It brings down dictators, keeps you from getting STDS, and allows you to let a bunch of strangers know how much you liked last night's episode of Glee
Peter Leone, a professor of medicine with the Center for Infectious Diseases at the University of North Carolina, told an international conference that, using Facebook's update status and friend circles, he was able to accurately map 80 percent of STD infections, following how they spread and from whom.
All STDs originally stem from this man
The goal of the study is to find ways to alter how we behave around STDs. According to James Fowler, a medical genetics professor with the University of California, San Diego, the way we react to STDs despite advertising campaigns and warnings from doctors hasn't shifted much. We basically all still just keeping humping each other, basically. We're so horny it doesn't matter to us. We'll see an old homeless guy on the street with sores all over his fingers and run up and start humping on his fingers because we can't help ourselves.
Even this makes me want to have sex
Fowler created an app that uses Facebook to predict your chances of getting the flu using status updates. When the app notices a prevalance of flu updates it sends you a notice that says, "You have a good chance of getting the flu today." Fowler sees Leone's experiment as a clear indicator that an app could be created to predict your chances of STDs. So you can envision a not too distant future when you're holding someone's naughty bit, about to put it somewhere on you when your phone issues a panicked sound, you pull it out and is says, "You have a good chance of contracting syphillus. But that's cureable, so go ahead."
Syphillus. It's cureable, so have fun.
It sounds like a great way to get people to be more cautious about who they have sex with, and hopefully diminish the spread of STDs, and we can all only hope that Evangelists don't freak out and say it's evil for Facebook to help us to not get STDs and pray until the Holy Spirit comes down and breathes fire on all the Facebook servers.
The Holy Spirit: he hates that you do it with each other
This whole thing will be good for me, as I already have so many STDs I somehow infected my Farmville farmer.
What are your favorite STDs to get? Let us know in the comments!
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