Scouring the Internet late at night looking at cosplay babes makes you dream about how awesome it would be to date a Super Heroine. They fight crime while you stay at home and take care of the poodles. It sounds really good on paper, but the reality of actually dating one isn't as great as you would think. Below is 8 Super Heroines and why they would make terrible girlfriends:
Rogue
Rogue is number one on this list because she is by far the hottest of all of the Super Heroines. Unfortunately, Rogue drains the life force of anyone she makes physical contact with. Have fun in your coma, lover boy.
Wonder Woman
Wonder Woman's weapon of choice is the Lasso of Truth. Good relationships are built on a strong foundation of lies. Say goodbye to late nights with your bros, because you're never getting away with anything ever again.
She-Hulk
SHE-HULK SMASH!
Hawkgirl
Hawkgirl has actual working hawk wings that she uses to propel herself through the air. I don't care how clean she is, those bird wings are filthy and filled with mites. One night with her and your mattress will be a bug filled stink nest.
Wonder Twin Zayna
The Wonder Twins are the laughing stock of the super hero world. Dating one of the Wonder Twins is like dating the ugly cheerleader. Sure she's still a cheerleader, but who cares.
White Queen
Emma Frost is a telepath, and her specialty is mind control and manipulation. I hope you like watching Dancing With The Stars and only Dancing With The Stars. But hey, at least you won't know how miserable you are.
Mystique
Mystique can morph her body in to anyone. At first, this sounds great. You can have a different girl every night of the week. But what happens when she's mad at you? She starts out looking like Jennifer Lawrence and then suddenly you're making out with your own mom. Get ready for 20 years of therapy.
Vampirella
Vampirella is a vampire. I know you think she's hot. I know you think she's cool. I know you think she really likes you, but she's not really in to you. She just wants to drink your blood.
What other Super Heroines would make terrible girlfriends? Let me know @zachlunch or tell us in the comments!
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