The sequel to Nickelodeon's Avatar: That Last Airbender, The Legend of Korra is set to debut this month, and with it a new Avatar destined to save the world. And since I know you're not an idiot, you know that the Avatar is the only person on Earth who is able to control the elements, using an ancient practice known as bending, to mess up whichever nation is acting like a d*ck this time around. But which element will be best to mess up said d*ck-ish nation? Here come the tope ten elements to bend if you're the Avatar!
10. Water bender
The only reason water bending is so low on this list is because I don't know that I fully understand it. Can you bend all liquids? Can you bend green Gatorade? How about coffee? Milkshakes? Blue Gatorade? RED Gatorade? I can't fathom a world where you could bend red Gatorade. It is far too powerful a thirst quencher.
9. Earth bender
Earth bending's greatest strength is that allows you to level up your bending ability—at first you can bend rocks and dirt. Then once you've mastered that, you can take on metal bending. And once you've mastered metal, you can take on sick guitar solo bending. Bedowedowedowedowedowedowedowedowedowedowedowedowedowedowedowedoweeeee.
8. Air bender
The best part about air bending is that you can fly. Do you seriously want to talk about other benefits? You get to fly. Are you the kind of kid who gets a PlayStation 3 for Christmas and throws it in the dumpster if it doesn't come with a second controller and Red Dead Redemption? How about you go to Hell you little monster.
7. Fire bender
When you have the power of fire, you're basically your own barbecue, so think of how much money you'll save without taking your nightly trips to Famous Dave's you fat piece of human garbage.
I'm sorry, that was harsh. This is what happens when you talk about fire bending—things get heated.
6. Tears for fears' fourth album Elemental bender
This is a pretty okay album, I guess. One thing I do like about it—it has "element" in the title and therefore The Avatar can bend it. Shut up that's probably cannon.
5. Clipboard bender
I did not think I was going to run out of elements so fast.
4. Did I already say Air bender?
Yeah? I did?
Seriously there are only four elements.
3. Hadoken bender
Hey, you don't know that the final confrontation with the Fire Lord or whoever isn't going to come down to a Street Fighter II tournament.
2. NBC's Awake bender
When the Avatar practices their bending, many citizens of Capital City come out and watch. Hopefully enough do so when they're practicing their NBC's Awakebending that it gets a second season.
1. Bender bender
If Korra could bend all the benders, including any benders that got into her way, she could also bend the bender's elements that they were bending. But if bending benders means bending that which those benders are bending, is she in fact bending all that there is to bend? Is she bending the very act of bending itself? The point is, bending.
What element would you most like to bend if you were a bender? Let us know in the comments below!
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