So after an inspiration weekend of watching the 100 Greatest Songs of the 90s on VH1, I realized that half of them were about ridiculous things that made no sense because it was the 90s and nobody had problems so they sang about peaches and ziggazig-ah. While people looked for hidden meanings in these songs, they really were just ridiculous. So I got hard at work trying to find songs that DID have some alternative story to tell. And so I give you, 10 songs with hidden meanings…
10.) LMFAO – SEXY AND I KNOW IT
A song about a guy boasting his abilities on everything from the club to the dance floor at said club, this song has a deeper side to it. Because we’re picturing it wrong. It’s not some guy running around town doing all of this. Clearly, this guy is sitting at home filling out an online dating service profile and messaging girls. Somewhere out there, the brothers FAO are hard at work crafting the perfect eHarmony profile. And it goes something like this… “I got passion in my pants and I ain’t afraid to show it I’m sexy and I know it” Followed by a subtle, charming message to a girl… “Ah, girl look at that body Ah, I WORK OUT!”
9.) NICKI MINAJ – SUPER BASS
Again she is singing about someone, a “he.” However, she never makes it clear who “he” is, and from the sound of it “he” can be multiple people. So here’s the hidden meaning. Nicki Minaj is a judge at a drag queen show. A proud drag queen herself, Madam Minaj goes over the upsides to all of her favorite candidates. All while trying to contain her love for them. “Excuse me, you’re a hell of a guy You know I really got a thing for American guys I mean, sigh, sickenin’ eyes And I can tell that you’re in touch with your feminine side” Yeah cause he’s DRESSED like one. I’m not saying the song is any better or worse now that the secret is out. I’m just saying that if this was the plot of the movie Burlesque, that movie would have the top spot over The Avengers. Also I’m sure “Miss” Nicky Minaj sings the song slower and then they speed it up in post. It worked for the Chipmonks! Just sayin…
8.) JASON MRAZ – I’M YOURS
This song is about one thing and one thing only. Hippies. It’s an invitation, a dianetics-esc recruitment jingle for a movement defined by their montra, “just relax man.” “Well open up your mind and see like me Open up your plans and then you’re free Look into your heart and you’ll find love, love, love Listen to the music of the moment people, dance and sing We’re just one big family And it’s our god-forsaken right to be loved, loved, loved” Okay dude, fine, whatever! We’ll all just quite our jobs and occupy Burning Man. So long as you promise to start wearing hats like a normal person.
7.) LADY GAGA – BORN THIS WAY
An apparent gay-and-proud anthem, Ms. Gaga never truly explains the WAY in which she was born. So here’s my theory, she has three arms. Hear me out! Not like a third, Goro arm. But like a small, hidden baby arm. Look I know it’s gross but I didn’t write the song alright!? Just look at these lyrics… “Whether life’s disabilities Left you outcast, bullied, or teased Rejoice and love yourself today” She also uses the fifteenth century saying “Mi amore vole fe yah” Which supposedly means, “Love cannot exist without trust.” But upon further research a young lit team at Harvard has discovered that it really means, “Yo gurl I got a third arm WHATTTTUP!?!?1?!?” Crazy…
6.) 6.) CARLY RAE JESPEN – CALL ME MAYBE
So we all know this one by heart by now; a pining, lonely teen girl throws a coin in a well and falls for a guy. However, she never says where or why this happens. Or DOES she? Call Me Maybe is actually a song about a girl who is at the mall, gets separated from her friends, finds a well and throws a coin in, then can’t deal with the crowds so she hits on a stranger to hopefully get a ride home. Think about it. She never defines “you,” so she could be talking to multiple people. She has no other reason to be mercilessly hitting on a gay guy, and plus these lyrics… “I’d trade my soul for a wish Pennies and dimes for a kiss I wasn’t lookin for this But now you’re in my way” Clearly the mall is VERY crowded and now she can’t get by the person in her way. So she flirts her way out…
5.) SNOW PATROL – CHASING CARS
Nothing. It’s stupid. I mean seriously just listen to this song.
4.) BRUNO MARS – GRENADE
This is a cool song. I’ve never heard a song from the point of view of a top White House security guard who is desperately in love with the president. Cause that’s what this is people! Open up your eyes and then you’ll see – Science “To give me all your love is all I ever asked Cause what you don’t understand is I’d catch a grenade for you Throw my hand on a blade for you I’d jump in front of a train for you” Okay you get the point. But think about it. There’s no WAY a sane, rational person would ever do any of this for a girl that was treating him bad, unless it was his job. And that’s why he’s torn. I’m just saying…
3.) LANA DEL REY – VIDEO GAMES
“Swinging in the backyard Pull up in your fast car Whistling my name Open up a beer And you say, get over here And play a video game” Clearly this song is about a pedophile. I don’t want to be “that guy,” especially if “that guy” is the pedophile in this song. Cause that sounds horrible. And why is she writing a song about this!? She goes on to have terrible Stockholm syndrome and totally defends this guy. “It’s you, it’s you, it’s all for you Everything I do” This girl needs help! Stop illegally downloading the music and start helping to pay for therapy bills!
2.) ADELE – SOMEONE LIKE YOU
Another song from the point of view of someone else. Only this time the tear-jerking ballad is from the point of view of a dog whose owner sent her to the pound. Think about it, this song playing instead of Sarah McLaughlin over those shots of sad puppies. That’s you get for watching TV after 11pm! “Never mind I’ll find Someone like you I wish nothing but the best For you” The puppy (it’s a puppy now cause that’s sadder) has clearly finished going through the five stages of grief and has settled on acceptance. Allowing said pup to now move on with her life and try to find a family somewhere else. I mean, let’s be honest, she has about two weeks…but still.
1.) BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN – BLINDED BY THE LIGHT
Did you guys know that it’s illegal in the state of New Jersey to not play a Bruce song on the radio at least once every hour? Right now I’m working on a bill to make that a national law, but it’s an uphill battle. One song you rarely hear is Blinded by the Light. And rumor has it, that this song may not be just a bunch of fun word play. For each part of the song can be seen as a metaphor for, well, the hobby of a young adolescent man. A hobby that takes place alone, often at night, and can be easily ruined by the unannounced entrance of a parent or the loss of an internet connection. “In the dumps with the mumps as the adolescent pumps his way into his hat With a boulder on my shoulder, feelin' kinda older, I tripped the merry-go-round” Everybody knows that merry-go-round is code for naughty no-no parts, and that naughty no-no parts is code for carousel. Creepy undertones aside, this song rules. So enjoy it and have a great rest of the week kids. Seacrest, out!
What songs do you know of that have hidden meanings? Let us know in the comments!
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