Hollywood is turning to board games to inspire the next big summer blockbusters and the most obvious game to use is, of course, Battleship. People like battles, and Titanic was one of the biggest movies ever and that was on a ship, so it just makes sense. Also, the guy who trained Darth Vader AND Batman is in it.
Not even a flower necklace can make this man less badass.
But not every game is as well-suited as Battleship to become a big summer movie. While your “Strategos” or” Candy Lands” might someday make a good film, some other games should just be left in the game cabinet forever. Not even robot aliens could make these board games exciting.
Checkers
Clearly a game invented before they figured out video games or having fun, checkers doesn’t really have much to adapt into anything. Maybe an urban comedy called “Checkerz” about how Red wants to become the “King,” but I don’t see much money in it.
Scrabble
This doesn’t look like my iPhone?
This was always an unfair game when you are a kid, because your parents just know more words. They’ve been alive longer! Besides that, Scrabble is about words and letters, which have their place in blockbuster movies, but only in-between explosions.
Chess
I think this board is set up wrong.
Yes, the thinking man’s checkers. Smart people play it, and the nerdy kids join the chess club in high school. There are knights and queens and kings and whatnot, but any movie that focused on those aspects might as well be Game of Thrones. One Game of Thrones is already the right number of Game of Thrones.
The Game of Life
I’m bad at both versions of The Game of Life.
Pretty much every movie is already about life, so I don’t see a market.
Don’t Wake Daddy
A group of kids try to sneak around their house to get food? And they run in terror if their dad so much as wakes up? What kind of terrible universe does this game take place in? The Hunger Games? I’m not saying it couldn’t be made into a movie, but please, Hollywood, don’t make this into a movie.
What other games shouldn’t be made into movies? Are you going to see Battleship? Let us know in the comments!
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