Hey, the 1% isn't just taking all the money and all the stuff money can buy IRL. They're also getting their greedy little hands on everything they can in the cartoon world too! I still don't understand why we can't take 'em down. I mean I'm no math expert, but we've got like 98% more people than they do. Awww man, money really is power! Here's a look at the greediest SOBs in the all of cartoonland. These animated misers definitely did NOT learn how to share in kindergarten!
Ash Ketchum
Ash Ketchum. You either love him or hate him. But either way you have to admit he's arrogant and greedy. You gotta catch 'em all? Oh really? Well let's see what Gary 'Motherf**king' Oak has to say about that!
Cartman
Cartman is always trying to get some of those Benjamins! And he knows that a complete lack of morals is one of the most important components when it comes to getting rich quick. Scam the Tooth Fairy...aiiiight! Start a church to get some of those scrumptious Jesus dollars...no prob! He has so little shame he'll even attempt to sell pubes. Plus he hates hippies. That and a love of using poor children as foot stools are two traits that every rich person must have. FACT.
Carter Pewterschmidt
This guy was barreling down the highway with a dog strapped to his roof, while Mitt Romney was still just a young boy dreaming of one day being an out-of-touch a-hole. He could totally be the Republican nominee for President. Well, if it wasn't for his ties to the Griffin clan. Only Democratic nominees get away with having 'colorful' relatives soiling up their gene pool.
Eddy
Eddy is the classic short guy bully. He will kick ass to pilfer a single jawbreaker. He loves himself some jawbreakers! GET ALL THE JAWBREAKERS! Luckily, he does realize one day that true friendship is the only thing you should be greedy about obtaining. I think that's okay to hoard? Is it?
Mr. Burns
It takes a special kind of greedy a-hole to skimp on safety when you run a NUCLEAR POWER PLANT. Mr. Burns is that special kind of greedy a-hole. He has so much money and is so heartless, he is one of the few people in the world that can get away with saying 'RELEASE THE HOUNDS!" in a convincing manner.
Eugene Krabs
If there is one thing you need to know about Mr. Krabs it's that he LOVES money. Like a fat kid loves cake. Like Britney Spears loves Cheetos. Like Kim Kardashian loves famewhoring. Like I love Doritos Tacos Locos. When he sees people he sees dollar signs. Sometimes I see a hamburger or a hot dog depending on their body shape and my hunger level.
Montana Max
Max is totally the annoying rich kid we all hate. I mean his doorbell actually says 'MON-EY!' when you ring it. He could do so much good with all of his dough, but instead uses it to fund his own amusement, which usually involves belittling others. If I was rich I would donate a dollar to charity for every dollar I spent seeking revenge on those that have done me wrong. But hey, that's just me.
Scrooge McDuck
HE TAKES A DAILY MONEY BATH! In GOLD BULLION! I'll stick to jumping in my bed while throwing around dollar bills. Especially after watching this:
Who are some other greedy animated bastards? Let me know @desijedeikin or in the comments below!
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