With the recent massive success of The Avengers, movie studios are scrambling to figure out what the next big superhero team franchise will be. Unfortunately, not every team is as awesome as The Avengers. Here are my picks for superhero teams that shouldn't get a movie:
Great Lakes Avengers
The Great Lakes Avengers' greatest foe is the American legal system. This team is so terrible that they got sued by the real Avengers for being an embarrassment to the name Avengers. They had to change their name.
Super Friends
I'm no scholar, but I'm pretty sure that Nostradamus predicted that bringing the Wonder Twins to the big screen is the first sign of the Apocalypse. Plus, you know they're going to try to put a “WAAZZUUPP!” scene in the movie. That's the second sign of the Apocalypse.
Alpha Flight
Alpha Flight is like a Canadian Avengers. Their superpower is extreme politeness. Whenever they finish a battle with a super villain, they all make up and go out and get a beer together.
Civic-Minded Five
Unlike most of the heroes on this list, the Civic-Minded Five are actually supposed to be terrible at their job. They can be counted on to be nearly killed, and then saved by The Tick in almost every fight. They come in at 3:12.
Super Globetrotters
For some reason in the late 70's, someone decided to make a cartoon about the Harlem Globetrotters. It failed after only one and a half seasons. They retooled the series almost a decade later and decided that the Globetrotters basketball team was actually a front for a superhero team. Luckily for them, most of their villains had basketball teams.
Captain Carrot and His Amazing Zoo Crew!
This group of superheroes came from a alternate dimension in the DC Universe. They were all talking animals. Cause kids like talking animals, right? RIGHT?!?!!!
The Craptacular B-Sides
The Craptacular B-Sides only had a three issue run and for good reason. Their accomplishments include losing a fight at a bowling alley, being saved by the Fantastic Four, and stopping a guy in a diner from microwaving some cats.
Forgotten Heroes
The Forgotten Heroes were forgotten for a reason. They were brought together to fight Immortal Man's nemesis Vandal Savage. As a team, they were so weak they had get help from Superman to defeat him. Even though they fought along side Superman, he still didn't want anything to do with them and was never considered a member.
Legion of Super-Pets
What do you get when you combine a super-powered horse, monkey, cat, and dog? SUPER HOTDOGS! At least, that's what they should have been.
What superhero teams do you think are the worst? Let me know @zachlunch or tell us in the comments!
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