With Daytime Soap Operas currently making the choking sound of their own death rattle, it seems like all is lost. But perhaps not! One way to save the genre could be to inject it with a familiar property. And what property is more familiar to everyone than Harry Potter? Don't you say the bible. DON'T YOU SAY THE BIBLE!!!!! Anyway, here at SMOSH we've made some projections of What a Harry Potter Daytime Soap Opera Would Look Like:
ROMANCE!
Ron and Hermoine! Harry and Hermoine! Ron and Professer Mcgonagall! Dobby and that sock that frees him! Interchangeable romantic partners are a staple of all good (relatively speaking) daytime soaps, and what a giant cast of characters Harry Potter has to mix and match from!
MAGIC!
Sure, Harry Potter already has lots of magic, but soap opera magic is different! No more death spells, or flying brooms, or transformation potions. Now it's all love spells, love potions, and love charms. INTERCHANGEABLE ROMANTIC PARTNERS!
BETRAYAL!
Harry betrays Ron because he's jealous of his success on the Quidditch pitch! Hermoine betrays Harry because Voldemort has more to teach her! The sock that set him free betrays Dobbie because it's demanded by the story! You won't see any of these twists of turns coming, unless you're familiar with totally lazy plot twists.
LOW QUALITY SETS!
With a daytime Soap, studio lots and cardboard back drops replace majestic CGI and authentic castles. Have you ever wanted to see Harry Potter standing infront of a sunset that is very clearly painted onto some plywood? Now’s your chance!
FREQUENCY!
Remember how there was like a four year gap between Goblet of Fire and Prisoner of Azkaban? Well, that won't be a problem anymore, not with the writers having to crank out a new episode Monday to Friday. Get a Harry Potter Fix everyday at 1pm EST.
TERRIBLE WRITING!
Of course, this will have a pretty drastic effect on the quality of the writing itself, but the success of Two and a Half Men just shows that people don't really care anyway.
What other well known properties would make good day time soap operas? Let us know in the comments!
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