There is nothing more exciting than the notion of summer break— a months-long chunk of time when you have no responsibilities nor obligations. It seems perfect, doesn't it? Well, things can still go horribly, horribly wrong, even on summer vacation. Observe—
Hey guys, I'm back!
Today, I returned home from a three-week vacation. None of my friends realized I'd been gone. FML
It's like "Batman Begins" except gross
Today, I am on vacation in the Smoky Mountains with my parents. They just decided to take me to the place I was conceived seventeen years ago: a bench at a public park. FML
"Hey, aren't you the thing from that thing?"
Today, while at the beach, I was mistaken for Snooki. FML
I wanted it to be PERFECT
Today, my boyfriend cancelled our vacation plans because I'll be on my period, arguing that, "It wouldn't be a real holiday." FML
Even brains can atrophy
Today, is the first weekend I have off this summer. Instead of letting me see my friends, my dad printed out a practice SAT exam. I've already taken the SAT. He just "doesn't want me to get rusty". FML
As a gesture of appreciation...
Today, my girlfriend came over to talk. She just got back from a small vacation. She asked me to feed her dogs while she was gone, so I did. I even stayed with them at times so they wouldnt get lonely. My girlfriend had come over to break up with me. She didn't do so earlier because she needed her dogs fed. FML
Take that, inner peace
Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML
Let's wait just another hour longer
Today, after being at summer camp for two weeks, my parents never showed up to take me home. A counselor had to drive me. FML
A friend indeed
Today, I realized that the only one willing to hang out with me this summer is my guinea pig. FML
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