I'll never forget the summer of 2009—the first summer after The Dark Knight had come out. Every day the internet had some new theory about Christopher Nolan's next Batman movie. "That guy from the Mario Brothers movie is going to be the Penguin!" they said. And then there was the week where everyone learned Hue/ Saturation in Photoshop so they could turn Kristen Bell into Harley Quinn. It was a magical time where, since we didn't know even one single detail about Batman 3, all villains and all story lines were true.
This is referred to as Schrödinger's Catwoman.
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But now, with the Dark Knight Rises less than two months away from opening, all that mystery is gone. It seems like we get six or seven new TV spots a week, including last night, when the MTV Movie Awards premiered a bunch of new footage from The Dark Knight Rises. That is, when it wasn't too busy giving Twilight awards it didn't deserve. I mean really. Best kiss? Best kiss?
These two kiss like GI Joe action figures being
smashed together by the kid with developmental problems.
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In the new Dark Knight Rises footage, Catwoman tells Joseph Gordon-Levitt's John Blake that, when it comes to Bane, he should be "as afraid of him as I am." And I have to imagine he already is as afraid as she is. Doesn't Joseph Gordon-Levitt just look terrified all the time? Like, in his face? I feel like if I hired Joseph Gordon-Levitt he would never stop popping into my office and asking if he was doing his job correctly.
"I bcc'd you on that e-mail just in case. Is that okay? Am I okay?"
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But the best part is when Batman and Catwoman do this little routine where she confronts an armed guard and goes "He's behind you" and he goes "Who?" and he turns and Batman's upside down and goes "Me" and then hits him with his cape. Do you think they rehearsed that? Do they have bits now? Are Batman and Catwoman starting a sketch troupe? I'm honestly way less interested in seeing them save Gotham than I am watching them espouse on the nature of comedy.
"You can't pander when you're doing stand-up,
you know? It's all about honesty. It's about being raw."
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Here's the video. See if you can spot the cameos from Victor Fries and Hugo Strange! I mean, you can't, but just see!
Why do you think Catwoman is so afraid of Bane? Is it his coat? Is it because he has such a big coat? Let me know on twitter @mikeyfromsu or in the comments below!
Check out the Dark Knight Rises Posters!
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