Chuck E. Cheese Gets Rebooted!

Mikey McCollor

Following in the footsteps of James Bond and Batman, Chuck E. Cheese has been rebooted. As of this moment, you probably think of Chuck E. Cheese as a wholesome, goofy, human-sized rat with droopy eyelids and a big smile for anyone who walks past.

"How can anyone be sad when God loves us so much?"
(source)

Well, this is what he's become - a hard-rockin', jeans-wearin', eyebrow-archin' SOB with tons of 'tude!

"BWOOWAHHH! DON'T LISTEN TO YA PARENTS!" *guitar solo*
(source)

Yes, Chuck E. Cheese as we knew him is dead, and in his place is this radical dude, to be voiced by the lead singer of Bowling for Soup. I'm not saying the old Chuck E. Cheese was important or that he didn't need a redesign. He looked like the first logo design by a grown man who wants to give illustration a shot. What I am saying is that this new Chuck E. Cheese is not their answer. He's literally a caricature of out-of-touch adults trying to appeal to kids, who are definitely smart enough to see through this. You just know that, in these redesign meetings, the word "attitude" came up. He even has a black guitar. Black guitars are what kids buy when they don't have an actual connection to guitars and just want something they assume their friends will think is cool.

"I can't wait until I have an identity!"
(source)

Chuck E. Cheese doesn't seem to get that kids will see through this lame attempt to pander. Think about it - how many Pokemon do you see playing guitars? How often does Katniss Everdeen wear rockin' sneakers and a rad striped T? Advertising is most effective when you know what exact service you're providing and say it clearly. In Chuck E. Cheese's case, that's selling garbage pizza to dumb kids so their parents can get away for one goddamn second to just check their goddamn email, christ almighty.

As effective as Chuck E. Cheese's advertising can ever be.
(source)

What do you think of the new Chuck E. Cheese? Eagles or fireworks? Let me know on twitter @mikeyfromsu or in the comments below!

 

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