I think sanyone who has worked in an office has experienced this situation: “You’ve met the new IT guy, right? His name’s Doug, but he insists on being called ‘The D-Man.’ Seriously. No, I don’t call him ‘The D-Man’ – no one calls him ‘The D-Man.’ If you ask me, he’s more like a ‘D-Bag.’ Do NOT let him corner you – all he does is quote, like, twenty year old movies and expect you to laugh. Oh, God. He’s coming down the hall – act casual. Crap! He spotted us! Oh...hi, Doug.” Here's the horror of what happens next, as the D-Man starts quoting the worst movie catchphrases of ALL TIME!
“Yeah, baby, yeah!”
“Stacy, what’s up? You ready for the weekend? I know I am...gonna do a little bit of water-skiin’ with my bros down at Fletcher Dam. Yeah, baby, yeah!”
“It’s nice!”
“You been to that new Mexican restaurant on Hoover yet? They make a mean enchilada – tons of cheese, tons of red sauce. Great red sauce there. It’s nice!”
“Smooookin'!”
“Denise in accounting? She’s, like, my dream girl, man. She’s so hot...I mean, her body is totally smooookin’! Does she have a boyfriend? A chick that hot’s gotta have a boyfriend. I don’t mind a little competition, though.”
“Show me the money!”
“Roger wanted me to come in for a half-day on Saturday, but I had Bon Jovi tickets so I told him to shove it. I don’t care if he’s my boss, man – he’s not my BOSS, know what I mean? I don’t get paid enough for that. I was all like, ‘If you want me to come in on Saturday, dude, you better show me the money!’”
“I'll be back.”
“Stacy, I gotta run some figures by you – hold on, I’m gonna go get ‘em from my desk. Don’t move a muscle! I’ll be back. But seriously, though, I’ll be right back.”
“Why so serious?”
“God, you two are a couple sticks in the mud! Would it hurt you guys to smile once in a while? Hey – why so serious? Get it? Like The Joker? Why so serious, you guys?”
“This one time...at band camp...”
“You guys are going out to P.F. Chang’s after work? That’s so crazy! That reminds me of this one time...at band camp... Ha ha. Seriously, though, I never went to band camp. So, you’re going to P.F. Chang’s...can The D-Man tag along with ya? I promise I won’t bite...hard...”
What other movie quotes make you wanna punch a hole in the wall? Let me know in the comments, or tell me @Bornferal!
Check Out the 10 Most Ridiculous Movie Quotes (Edited For TV)!
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