Avril Lavigne and Nickelback guy, Miley and Hunger Games Hottie, it seems the parade of nausea-inducing celebrity engagements will never end! Hey – if our newsfeeds are going to infect us with this knowledge, we should at least get a say in the romantic lives of the people we love to mock. Here are some toolish celebrity engagements we’d like to see.
Kanye And Kourtney Kardashian
We’ve already spent too much time on Kim’s marriage plans… it would be much more exciting to see Kourtney find an attention-whore father-figure for Mason and Penelope. Plus, all the Kardashian programming would get 1,000 times more interesting with the sister-stole-my-boyfriend drama (and ensuing Top 40 hits about Kourtney). Everybody wins!
Charlie Sheen And Lindsay Lohan
Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan are the only two people in the world who don’t have the right to judge Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan. Their wedding could be televised live to accommodate the people who want to place bets on which one is going to arrive later and more f’ed up.
The Mom From Honey Boo Boo And Ryan Gosling
It would pain me too much to see Ryan Gosling get married, so let’s just make this a ridiculous one. If Ryan were to marry, say, the LEAST attractive (physically or intellectually) person I can think of, we would all be able to just question Ryan’s judgment/decide he would’ve been too crazy for us anyway.
Kristen Stewart And Lance Armstrong
Cheaters gon’ cheat. At least they can bond over what it’s like to disappoint the entire world.
Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson
Just because I really miss the 2000’s, and those two were so much more fame-worthy when they were giving us funny stuff to watch. Sorry, Vanessa Minnillo and Eric Johnson. The people of America know true love when it’s edited together for us, and NickJess was the real deal.
Prince Harry And Ryan Lochte
What a coup for gay marriage these two would be! If the Prince and the Waterboy like hanging out together in Vegas so much, how about they just elope in an Elvis chapel? What would the Queen say to that?
What other toolish celebrities would you like to see get engaged? Let us know in the comments!
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