You thought you had done a pretty good job mentally preparing yourself for that first day of school. You were wrong. By seventh period, you were irritable and ready for winter break. What you had forgotten is that it’s not the education itself that’s stressful – it’s everyone around you asking stupid-ass things. Here are the most annoying back-to-school questions.
How Was Your Summer?
Well, let me see. June 1 was a good day... June 5, not so good (got in a fender bender)... June 8, I thought Mikey liked me but June 9 I saw him flirting with Karen... Bottom line: People who ask how your summer was didn’t care enough to write you at camp or ask you for plans, so chances are they also don’t care how it went. Unless you have some really juicy drama. Then you guys “hung out a bunch,” so they’d know what really happened.
How Are You And [Whoever You Were Dating In The Spring]?
You either have since broken up with this person or you’re still together, but regardless, you hate evaluating the state of your relationships. No one required you to think about it during the summer! Ugh. Ask yourself: is this person just trying to make him/herself feel better about not having a significant other? Yes.
What Classes Are You Taking?
Do you seriously want me to go through my entire schedule with you right now? Because it’s not going to end with just which classes (and the inevitable comparison of who’s got more honors and AP’s), it’s going to be when they are, and with which teacher. Can’t we wait until we’re sitting in those seats sometime within the next 48 hours and then look around to see who else is there?
Did You Lose Weight?
No. And if you’re being asked this, it’s probably because you have a really crappy haircut, and you’ve caught this person staring. They had to say something.
Can I Borrow Your Notes From Last Year?
Get your own damn learning! Never give anyone your notes unless you have something to gain in return. Younger kids are worthless. They’re just going to judge your note-taking ability.
Will You Go To Homecoming With Me?
Oh, my God. Is it that time of year again? If someone has already asked you to Homecoming (or you’ve already asked somebody), we have a problem. There’s supposed to be a social anxiety grace period of at least the month of September. Just say no – you don’t want to go with someone who really likes you, anyway.
What other back-to-school questions annoy the crap out of you? Let us know in the comments!
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