The Very Best of FML: Grocery Edition!

FMyLife

Have you ever, even once, had a good experience at the grocery store? There's an overwhelming amount of food, you spend way too much money, and none of the other shoppers know to keep moving and get out of the way. I'm shocked every FML isn't a grocery store FML.

 

The ole' switcheroo

Today, while paying for groceries, I opened my wallet to find that all my cash had been exchanged for Monopoly money. FML

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He does have a tiny, tiny car

Today, I watched my grandfather try and park his car inside the storage area for shopping carts, thinking it was a parking space. FML

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It was all... part of the plan

Today, I was bagging my groceries when I accidentally smacked myself in the face with a box of popsicles, giving myself a nose bleed. I found out that the cashier hates the sight of blood when she passed out behind the register. They called security on me. FML

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Pull the ripchord

Today, I saw my crush working the only open till at the grocery store. When she saw me approach her queue, she immediately called for more cashiers. FML

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Thank you, stranger

Today, I was at a grocery store with my 3 year old son. As I was picking a cereal out, an older man comes over and says, "You should have used condoms. What an ugly boy." FML

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You get sprung

Today, I was at the grocery store and this hot guy was staring at my ass, so I smiled at him. My mother noticed he was checking my ass out, and she approached him and said "I know she has a big ass, but it's rude to stare, son." FML

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What a blessed event

Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year old man with a beer belly. FML

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He died doing what he loved

Today, I was trying to clean the belt of my register at work at a grocery store. I noticed two strips of rubber stuck in the corner of the belt, and after pulling on them periodically all morning one finally came loose. It was a foot. I had been pulling at a dead rat trapped in the belt. FML

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They need to wear a sign to identify themselves

Today, I tried helping an old lady with her groceries. When I asked if she needed help she smiled. When I took one of her bags she yelled. I didn't know she was deaf. FML

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