There is nothing better than a great theme song for a cartoon series that you love. Some of my favorite songs are from cartoons. Scooby Doo, Ducktales, The Tick, Animaniacs. I could make a list a mile long. Unfortunately, sometimes cartoons have theme songs that makes you want to stab out your ears with a trumpet. Here are the worst cartoon theme songs.
All Grown Up!
All Grown Up! is the sequel series to Nickelodeon's Rugrats. The original Rugrats theme might be one of my all time favorite theme songs. It's written by Devo's Mark Mothersbaugh. It's completely original and fits the tone of the series perfectly. This new theme also fits this new series perfectly, but not for a good reason.
Fantastic Max
If you're ever having a party that's going way too late and you need to clear it out, this is the song to do it. Just put this thing on repeat. Your house will be completely empty faster than you can say safety pin.
Pro Stars
For a series about people who worked really hard, the creators of this song didn't really try at all. It sounds like a lame rip off of Queen's We Will Rock. So big ups to them for at least using some good source material.
Care Bears: Welcome To Care-A-Lot
I used to love the old Care Bears. They would find legitimate real world problems and help kids overcome them. This theme song is just one example of why the new Care Bears are terrible. It sounds like it was rejected from a Hannah Montana episode. I never thought I'd say this, but THEY RUINED THE CARE BEARS! The Care Bears used to be all about stopping bullies and keeping kids off drugs. In the new series, they teach the importance of not playing too many video games. No thanks.
Magical Super Trolls
The logline for this show should be, "It's like The Smurfs, but terrible." They even tried to rip off the theme song for The Smurfs. The twist in this show is that some of them are Superheroes for no reason. The Smurfs never needed any help from superheroes. Smurf this show.
Street Sharks
This song is an attempt at some sort of weird rockabilly throwback mess. Unfortunately, it's painfully obvious that most of this thing was recorded with a cheap-o keyboard. This song is not Jawsome.
Bravestarr
This theme song is some kind of weird spoken word nonsense. They should have at least gotten spoken word performer William Shatner to do it. Stick around to the minute mark in the video to see a terrifying, furry inspired horse.
The Superhero Squad
It's sad to me that this theme song is so bad. Marvel has a long history of really great themes. Spider-Man, the X-Men, The Incredible Hulk, The Superhero Squad. One of those things is not like the other. This series is a terrible cash in on a bunch of Marvel's awesome characters. The creators somehow cared even less about the theme song than they did about making a good series.
Hammerman
MC Hammer is not known for being a great musician, but this might be the worst thing he's ever rapped on. One of the lyrics is "So gramps opened the bag and took out the magical shoes. He set the on the ground, and they soon began to groove." It sounds even more awkward when you hear Hammer rapping that himself. This came out the same year as Too Legit To Quit so he was at the top of his game. This was the beginning of the end.
Wonderpets
The Wonderpets is a show for very little kids. I get that. But it's soooooo annoying! They sing the whole series so I feel that it's fair to judge the series as a whole. They go from saving real animals like birds and dolphins to saving fake animals like unicorns. They don't make any attempt to not let these little kids know that unicorns aren't real animals. If they're going to use fake animals anyway, I want to see them helping out Cerberus or some Pokemon.
What terrible theme song did I miss? Let me know on twitter @zachlunch or in the comments below!
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