Listen, losers: you don't have to be Johnny Football Hero or have Gosling-quality looks to nab a hot chick. As the famous babes on this list show, sometimes it really is what's inside that counts. (NOTE: The opinions of the women on this list may not represent actual, sane, women.)
Marilyn Monroe
Most folks agree that Marilyn Monroe was the hottest chick to have ever walked the face of this planet. When she married nebbish playwright Arthur Miller in 1956, however, she proved that she was significantly deeper than her amazingly good looks would imply. The couple, who the press referred to as "The Egghead and The Hourglass," built a bond even the House Un-American Activities Committee couldn’t break (Monroe refused to dump Miller, who was accused of Communist activities, even when it threatened her career).
Christina Hendricks
Hendricks, who plays the hyper-attractive firecracker Joan Holloway on "Mad Men," married nerdy actor Geoffrey Arend in 2009. Most Hollywood marriages have an incredibly short shelf-life, but Arend, despite looking like he was born stuffed into a locker, is still knockin’ boots with the busty broad. Godspeed, you lucky dweeb.
Paulina Porizkova
If you were born post-1990, you probably don’t know who supermodel Paulina Porizkova is (or her husband Ric Ocasek, for that matter). Your loss, whippersnapper. Paulina, one of the 80's hottest models, is incredibly non-judgemental when it comes to the looks department. She’s been married to mecha-dweeb Ric Ocasek of The Cars since 1989, and shows no signs of quitting any time soon – in an interview last year, she described her husband as “much better looking” than George Clooney. Delusional...andhot? Now that’s a killer combo!
Shannon Elizabeth
Elizabeth, who played the hot exchange student in American Pie’s oft-rewound bedroom scene, was in a relationship with grody looking actor/director/comic book writer Joseph D. Reitman for 10 years. How grody looking is Reitman, you ask? Grody looking enough to have played one of the cavemen in those Geico commercials that were popular a few years back. Yes, folks – Shannon Elizabeth was in Playboy, yet she married a man who literally LOOKS LIKE A CAVEMAN.
Elizabeth Banks
Elizabeth Banks has been in a butt-load of successful movies, from Spiderman to The Hunger Games. She’s also successful in love, having been with her college sweetheart since 1992. Said sweetheart, writer/blogger Max Handelman, isn’t the coolest dude on the block, though. The former investment banker is, like most upper middle-class dweeby white dudes, super into fantasy football. He even wrote a book about it, entitled “Why Fantasy Football Matters: (And Our Lives Do Not).” The dude can write? What a dork.
Mary-Kate Olsen
Mary-Kate Olsen isn’t necessarily hot, but she’s no pile of puke, either. Which is why the fact that she’s dating Olivier Sarkozy, the creepy, nerdy, half-brother of the former president of France, is so bizarre. She bagged Heath Ledger, for cripes sakes! Does she really expect us to believe that she’s genuinely attracted to a 42-year-old creepazoid?
Julia Roberts
Roberts, a.k.a. America’s Sweetheart, shocked the world when she married country music weirdo Lyle Lovett in 1993 after a whirlwind four-week courtship. She then un-shocked the world when she divorced the dude two years later. But the simple fact remains that, for at least 700 or so days, a gorgeous gal gave her heart to a goofball.
Know of any other über babes who prefer to kick it with über geeks? Let me know in the comments!
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