Guys, moving on from High School to College is tough. With the looming shadow of paying tens of thousands of dollars (you probably don’t have) for a diploma that may end up being nothing more than being incredibly expensive and common conversation piece, we here at Smosh can appreciate that any help getting prepared is much appreciated. We also know that meeting new people can be an anxiety-ridden experience for many (someone saying the words “It’s nice to meet you” to me are the equivalent of someone jumping out of a closet and screaming “BOO!” at others) so we figured why not help ease you into things by giving you the breakdown on the 7 People You Are Guaranteed To Meet In College:
The RA
RA stands for "Resident Assistant", but the way these types patrol and enforce the rules of their assigned residence floor, CT for "Crazed Tyrant" would be more appropriate. You even presenting the notion that you could potentially break a rule is always meant with a glare and admonishment about “following the rules”, even if you made it clear from the beginning you’re a “rules shmules” kind of person.
The Bad Drunk
So common there is one of these in approximately every other group of people who are hanging out, Bad drunks are not people who are abusive when they're drunk, they are people who are abusive ONLY when drunk. That is what makes them so bad, that they are constantly luring you in with their sober pleasantness, than attacking you after they have a couple of whatever their drink of choice is (usually it's a tall glass of "anything).
The Tough Guy
A lover of mouthing off, and being mouthed off to, the epitaph on the tough guy's headstone should just say "what's up bro?!" Hates being bumped into, having his shoes stepped on, his drink spilled, and you "talking to (his) girl, bro?!"
The Activist
Look, I get it. Everyone has a cause or two that they feel strongly about. But no one should feel THIS strongly about EVERY CAUSE. First of all, it gives you less time to actually do the research into what you're trying to espouse the horrors of, so you end up not really knowing what you're talking about. And second, we're in college; we already have enough reading to do without you shoving leaflets under our door every six minutes.
The Prankster Engineer
If you go to a good school with a good engineering department, you will discover this quickly: Engineers think they are so hilarious. Freed from the torment of high school bullies, they now feel encouraged to go and perform all sort of engineering pranks, like putting a car on the roof of the school, or something else I don't remember because I don't like math and I intentionally blocked these nerds out of my brain.
The Lecherous Professor
Loves to have "study groups" with his "favorite students" who all happen to be "super hot co-eds and one gay guy so he can claim it’s on the up-and-up". The other downside is that often this guy is also a really great professor, which is a great way College helps you realize EVERYONE WILL LET YOU DOWN.
Your True Self
In High School, you're pretty much locked into one of three or four roles. Guys are Jocks, Nerds, or Nobodies. Ladies are Hot Girls, Nerds, or Nobodies. But when you hit college, everyone becomes way too self-absorbed in their own burgeoning interests to worry about stuffing everyone else into one of three categories. You are free to become who you want to be! The downside? You're probably going to discover that you're not that interesting.
Who do you imagine you’ll meet one day? Let us know in the comments!
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