You've probably leveled up over the summer and gotten a little more confidence. You might be thinking that it's time to say something to that person you never worked up the nerve to talk to last year. Think before you act. You may want to avoid some of those crushes.
Everything Is Lame Guy
We all know this dude. He only focuses on the lame stuff in life, and responds to everything on Facebook with, "fail." There is a whole world out there of wins. You just have to actually put forth a little bit of effort to find it. It's pretty lame to act like everything is lame. To be fair though, most things are lame.
Any Celebrity
Crushing crazy hard on a celeb is a great way to make sure any potential mate can never live up to your high standards. You're never going to go on a date with anyone from Twilight. It's time to settle for something a little more realistic.
The Hot Teacher
It's not going to happen. Don't. Even. Try. There is no outcome that won't result in suspension from school or possible jail time for your teacher. Save everyone the trouble and just move on to someone who is age appropriate.
Cute Phrase Sayer
"I'm like totally jelly of how cool beans your new shoes are. It's banoodles. I need to get some ASAPalicious." That is a phrase that should never come out of your significant other's mouth. You need to start looking around because there are tons of people whose every word won't annoy you and everyone you know.
King Or Queen Of The School
They run this show. Do you really think they're going to go for a lowly peasant like you? They're way too busy waging war on the Glee Club to take any notice of you. That doesn't mean you can't aim for lower royalty of the school. Why not try to go out with The Duke Of The Chess Club or The Lady Of The Marching Band?
Obsessed Fan
This may not seem like a big deal at first. So, what if they're really, really in to Sailor Moon. They seem nice and cool. It's just kind of a quirky thing that they're into and watch constantly and sing the theme song to and reference every five minutes and dress up as. Do you want to spend the rest of the school year dressed up like Tuxedo Mask? Hey, maybe that's your thing. If it is, then go for it. If not, then maybe you should move on.
The Always Bored Person
They could be going a hundred miles an hour on a triple-looped roller coaster and still be bored. This person's first love is probably their cell phone. For some reason, looking at a tiny screen is the only way they get any entertainment.
Waterfalls
Can you hold a star in the palm your hand? Can you catch a summer's breeze? Can you chase a waterfall? No. It can't be done. Many have tried and many have failed. Don't go chasing waterfalls.
Who do you have a crush on? Let me know on twitter @zachlunch or in the comments below!
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