Pokemon, like we all, must inevitably die. No one can escape the chill grip of death’s icy fingers, no matter how big their eyes are, or how cute their nose. And Pokemon, like any sentient race, have a variety of ways of celebrating, honoring, and mourning the deaths in their community. What are some of the most common ways they unburden themselves of their dead?
Removing The Brain Through The Nostrils
Squirtles general perform this type of burial right for Squirtles of high esteem in the Squirtle community. They remove the brain from the skull by using a drill to enlarge the nostril, then pulling the brain out with a sort of metal scoop. They then preserve the brain, give it to the family of the deceased Squirtle and throw the rest of the remains out to sea for the gulls to pick apart.
Wicker Man
Extremely popular with Charizards, they will create a giant wicker representation of the Charizard that has passed, stuff the dead boy of the fallen Charizard in the stomach of the Wicker Man, and unison breathe fire upon it. Then in the blaze they will silently whisper to themselves their own personal memories of the dead.
Tear To Pieces
Tentacruels hate the spectacle of death. It terrifies them to be reminded of mortality. So when a Tentracruel passes away the other Tentacruels immediately fly into a howling rage, using their vice like tentacles to pull the deceased to pieces, until there’s nothing left but a grey-red cloud in the water.
Snorlax
When a member of the Snorlax community dies the other Snorlax just continue to sleep.
Traditional Catholic Burial
Exeggcute, as you might expect, prefer a traditional Catholic burial. They gather together in cute little black socks, designed for mourning, and stand by the grave as the dead Exeggcuter is lowered into the Earth, preferably before it starts to stink.
Pikachu
As soon as a Pikachu passes, whoever the strongest Pikachu around is immediately consumes the deceased Pikachu, its relentless biting, ripping, and chewing, a symbol not only of their dominance over the other Pikachu nearby, but also of his or her dominance over death itself.
What is your favorite burial right to perform on your deceased pokemon? Let us know in the comments!
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