Very Best Of FMLife — SLAP Edition

Editor

Literally everyone getting slapped in the face in the following FML stories one hundred percent deserved their slap in the face.

 

How it should work

Today, I used the phrase "bitch please" in real life. It was funny until the "bitch" bitch-slapped me in the face. FML

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Romantic interest? NONE.

Today, I was slapped by a fourteen-year-old girl because I was apparently "stealing her boyfriend." I'm twenty-five, and her boyfriend is my nephew. FML

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Many confuse "being casual" with "being an idiot"

Today, I had a date with the girl I've been interested in for months. I'm pretty laid-back and casual with my friends, which backfired and caused the date to end with a slap, when I greeted her with a friendly "S'up, slut?" FML

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THE HORROR

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

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WHO HAS TIME TO FIGURE OUT WHICH BEVERAGE IS WHICH?

Today, I was at home, my mom came and saw me holding what she thought was a glass of beer. She took the glass, threw it and slapped me for drinking it. I was drinking Apple Juice. FML

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No one else is lovin' it

Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML

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Some men just want to watch the world burn

Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML

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Not that different, ultimately

Today, I found out what getting slapped in the face with lettuce feels like. FML

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PROBLEM SOLVING

Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML

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SEA WORLD, WHUT

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

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