12 Incredibly Strange Pieces Of Twilight Merchandise

Desi Jedeikin

What do you get the Twihard who has everything? Perhaps one of these crazy ass products will do! But honestly if they seem thrilled to receive one of these items, you might wanna rethink your relationship with them. Just sayin'!

 

An ACTUAL pillow used in the Breaking Dawn- Part 1 sex scene

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It scares me to think of what a Twihard might wanna do if they got their hands on this pillow. Let's just say I wouldn't wanna see what might show up if I sprayed luminol all over the pillow. I think we'd be entering motel bedspread territory.

 

Jasper and Alice's spawn doll

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Aren't dolls supposed to be, I don't know, CUTE!?! I can certainly see why Alice chose not to breast feed him.

 

Sex Necklace

 craziest worst twilight merchandise

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Who would want to wear vampire sex around their neck?? Wait...that sounds like some kind of weird fetish that might be in the  Urban Dictionary. Moving on...

 

Super creepy pin

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Only in the Twilight universe is a line so Ped-y celebrated as romantic.These books are hella ped-y...amirite?

 

Um...art?

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How do I explain this? It's art, made of resin blood and a feminine product, that the maker claims is a vampire's teabag. Are you barfing yet?

 

Baking Dish

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I mean I like puns just as much as the next guy...but no.

 

Embryo ornaments

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If you've ever wondered what Bella and Edward embryos looked like, then you need help. Serious help.

 

Edward's Ashes

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There's sparkles in his ashes you guys! Isn't that clever? Isn't that clever, you guys? Guys? Anyone there?

 

Various Hair Irons

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First of all these are all super dumb. Second of all, what man is itching to get Edward's textured style?? If you raised your hand, please go to the back of the man line.

 

Jacob Black Barbie Doll

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Personally I can't get past the no socks with sneakers. But yeah, there's a whole lot of wrong here. Although I kind of wanna see what's under his pants. Yes, in a lot of ways I'm still 10 years old.

 

Underwear

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It must be nice to be someone's clueless, blank-faced true love, said no girl ever. Well no girl with brains.

 

Edward cat doll

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Haven't cats suffered enough indignity on the internet!?! Also...WHY? The cat below is all like ' It could be worse.'

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Which is your fave? Let me know @desijedeikin or in the comments below!

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