I think Thanksgiving gets overlooked because a lot of people don't believe in magic turkeys. Let me tell you, though. They are out there. They exist. And if you're really good then Megaturkey will leave giblets under your pillow for good luck. He's not the only one that exists. Here are the most famous turkeys.
Turkey On Monica's Head (Friends)
I feel like this is really a great look for a person. My only disappointment with this episode is that The Monica, a turkey on your head, didn't catch on like The Rachel, Jennifer Aniston's hair cut. What a great world it would be if everyone was walking around with turkeys on their heads all the time. I finally wouldn't have to feel ashamed when I'm walking around my neighborhood with a turkey on my head.
Genetically Modified Turkeys (South Park)
These turkeys are not only dangerous. They are also very well organized. They're one of the bad guys in the South Park game for N64. Based on that research, I feel that our military should probably create cow guns to defend our towns from the oncoming turkey hordes.
Macy's Turkey
The Macy's Parade Turkey is a chilling reminder of what turkeys would look like if we allowed them to grow to full size. We just couldn't have dinosaur sized birds running all over the countryside. We soon would lose all control over them and they would over run our society. Planet Of The Apes was wrong. It's really going to be Planet Of The Turkeys.
Racing Turkeys
Turkeys with superspeed powers decide every year which city will be crowned The Turkey Capital Of The World: Cuero, Texas or Worthington, Minnesota. They have to raise some fast turkeys for this race because their town pride is on the line. For some reason, I always put my money on the line and lose all of my savings for the year. I really have a turkey gambling problem. At least it's only once a year.
Turkie (ThanksKilling)
Just more proof of the dangerous nature of turkeys. This is slasher film about a homicidal turkey. It's pretty bad, but in kind of a good way. Say what you will about it, but it is somehow popular enough to have a sequel. I hope it becomes a twenty movie franchise.
Hand Turkey
Who's your best turkey friend that never leaves your side? That's right. Hand turkey. Any time you want a visit from your friend, you can just put your hand down on a peice of paper and trace the outline of a turkey. Most of my fondest memories from high school are me and hand turkey just hanging out like best buds.
Which of these turkeys would you want to eat for Thanksgiving? Let me know on twitter @zachlunch or in the comments below!
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