Have you been on Facebook in the last few days? First of all, unless you're a great-grandmother or a Loch Ness Monster, of course you have. But second of all, did you get an email from Facebook itself, informing you that you have some legal options? And if so, were you upset that your New Message notification wasn't from a friend? And hey, why don't you ever get messages from your real-life friends? Do they not like you? Are they going to come to your birthday party? Are you going to have to invite Facebook's LEGAL TEAM to your birthday party?
Does this mean they're a "Maybe"?
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Besides being an indication of your rampant unpopularity, this legal notice is actually more than spam. Facebook is legitimately looking to settle a lawsuit over "Sponsored Stories", an advertising technique that uses user's profiles without their consent to sell marketing content to other Facebook users.
See? This is what Banksy WARNED us about!
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So what does it mean if you got the notice and are a part of this Facebook lawsuit? Well, Facebook is putting up 20 million dollars, and you're entitled to... ten of them.
That's right — Facebook might owe you ten dollars. And even that isn't guaranteed — since roughly 100 million people had Sponsored Stories made about them, Facebook can really only afford to pay out 2 million of them. Besides all that, I can't imagine it'll be easy to claim the money, either. I can't even change my privacy settings on Facebook, let alone navigate their legal proceedings.
But I say it's worth it if Facebook buys you a single Chipotle burrito.
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Let me tell you guys, I am deeply troubled by this story. Not because of Facebook's privacy violations. Not because of Facebook's half-hearted attempt to atone. But because I didn't get the email! What, I wasn't GOOD ENOUGH for a Sponsored Story? My Facebook pictures are FUN, okay? They paint a picture of a life of FUN and MERRIMENT, all right?
Just LOOK at my super fun profile picture and tell me it isn't valuable to advertisers!
Are you going to try to GET YOURS (ten dollar class action settlement from Facebook)? Let me know on twitter @mikeyfromsu or in the comments below!
Check out the 20 Biggest Idiots On Facebook!
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