Some toys are made to stand the test of time. Other toys are constantly revised and updated for each new generation. And a few toys have their one, big moment in the spotlight before spending the rest of eternity unseen, buried alongside Atari " E.T." cartridges...
Tamagotchi
There are toys that fade away because kids move on to the next big thing. And then there are toys that actually drop dead because you forgot to feed them. So it was with the Tamagotchi, a pocket-size digital pet in which kids would raise a hatched alien by caring for it, teaching it, reprimanding it, keeping it happy, making sure it went to the bathroom, and perhaps saving for its college education only for it to major in English so you could watch it flush $200,000 dollars down the drain. The toy proved so popular in the mid to late 90’s that one wondered if the digital aliens were actually a massive extraterrestrial invasion force that just couldn’t diaper itself. Though Tamagotchis still exist, its popularity has long faded as kids either grew bored or realized they had become neurotic, overwhelmed parents by the age of six.
Pet Rock
Unlike the very needy Tamagotchi, the Pet Rock didn’t require to be fed, cared for, or given any attention that couldn’t be accomplished by simply skipping it across a pond and watching it sink while thinking, “I’ve done my job as a caregiver.” That’s because the Pet Rock was just that—a rock placed on a bed of straw in a cardboard pet carrier (complete with air holes). It also came with a 32-page instruction manual that helped you teach your new immobile pet such tricks as “stay,” “sit,” and perhaps “show me better ways I could blow my cash instead.” The rock proved a pop culture sensation for about six months in 1975 before the nation—as it often did in the 1970’s—one day woke up and realized it had yet again gone insane, vowing to be far more level-headed and sensible from now on…only to then discover disco.
Pogs
An example of what fun was like in the early 90’s before the Internet as kids apparently found the next big toy while dumpster diving, Pogs were the cardboard discs inside juice caps that were illustrated and collected by very specific ten-year-old hoarders. The discs featured cartoon characters, product logos, and other colorful designs and were used in a game in which you stacked the pogs in piles and threw a plastic “slammer” on them, keeping whatever pogs landed face up. Unless you caught the Golden Snitch first, or something like that. Eventually schools banned the toy as a form of gambling—which only increased its popularity—but by the mid-90’s the fad quickly disappeared, leaving kids once again to sort through the garbage to find the next toy craze, perhaps one involving banana peels or spit-out gum.
Silly Bandz
Riding that fine line between kids’ love of funny shapes and love of wrapping several rubber bands tightly around their wrists until the circulation was cut off and the fingers went dead, Silly Bandz were little rubber bracelets that formed the shapes of animals, various objects, and the always exciting alphabet. The toy/fashion accessory/tourniquet proved a massive success only three short years ago as kids bought “theme packs” by the truckload, immediately lost or broke all those bands, and then bought them again. Soon knock-offs appeared everywhere, including “Cool Bandz,” “Zany Bandz,” “Googly Bandz,” and “Staples Assorted 24 Pack of Office Rubber Bands.” But like all fashion and toy fads, it ended the moment one popular kid was running late to school and forgot to put them on her wrist. By lunch that day no one could recall what Silly Bandz were.
Beanie Babies
Yes, you can still see the occasional Beanie Baby in stores. But those are the last known survivors of a once flourishing species of small stuffed animals that flew off shelves and into shopping carts with such names as “Splash the Whale,” “Flash the Dolphin,” and possibly “Crash the Bandicoot” given that it was the 90’s and the toy manufacturer Ty clearly was not known for their creative naming skills. But the mania didn’t really kick into high gear until the company started “retiring” some of the animals (or maybe sending them off to a farm to stud), causing parents to panic and even get into huge fistfights over such suddenly rare and extremely overpriced items as the tie-dyed “Garcia the Bear.” (Cancelled due to a lawsuit from the Grateful Dead over copyright infringement.) The Beanie Babies craze lasted until 1999, when Ty decided to close up shop with one last bear called “The End,” which sounded so ominous that one couldn’t help but wonder if the company’s staff knew something the rest of us didn’t and were quickly boarding a secret rocket ship before our planet exploded.
My Buddy
Introduced in 1985, “My Buddy” was designed as the first doll for boys who wanted a plaything that didn’t involve feeding or being pushed around in a stroller but that could be flung across a room or used as a cotton bludgeon in a fight. The doll proved extremely popular, thanks to a very catchy commercial jingle and the realization that what kids want most is a friend who could never disagree with them but will sit and listen to their rambling stories about a fire truck they saw three days ago and still won’t shut up about. In fact, the toy was such a success it inspired “Chucky,” the killer doll that slashed its way through several film sequels and helped put an end to “My Buddy” by equating innocent friendship with multiple movie homicides.
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