The internet is like a middle schooler who bases her entire self-worth on whether or not she wore the same headband today that everyone else is wearing. But the vast web space contains so many more headbands to watch out than those found in the confines of the sixth grade hallway. And they often squeeze your head too tightly. Here are some internet trends that are making me ill.
Contributing To Fads Because One Can
Let’s talk about the Harlem Shake for a minute. There were WAY too many response videos. Before people are allowed to upload, YouTube should make them answer a series of questions along the lines of “Are you sure?” “Does this contribute anything to society?” “Would YOU want to watch this?”
Definitive Opinions On Celebrities
All week, it’s been “Anne Hathaway sux, Jennifer Lawrence is my bestie!!!” I’m sure Anne has some redeeming qualities. And Jennifer? Ugh. She’s so successful at such a young age. Who can be best friends with that?
Jumping The Gun On Starting Currents Events Memes
Before the 2012 vice-presidential debate was even over, there was an entire tumblr devoted to the “Binders Full Of Women” meme. We’re either going to collectively put The Daily Show writers out of business or implode from everyone trying to promote their own jokes. (For the record, I came up with a “Put A Ring On It” reference independently. You can ask the ten friends I emailed.)
“^This”
Come on... you can think of something original to say. Or at least an affirming opinion with a subject/verb included.
“I Did This With The Beautiful And Talented [Insert Name Here]”
This is more about you and how selfless you are to allot your friends introductory phrases. More importantly, if you keep the company of beautiful and talented people, you must be beautiful and talented yourself. (Plus, 99% of the time, the friend being called “beautiful” knows “beautiful” isn’t her thing, so it’s just patronizing.)
Cool Things Being Taken Over By People Who Want To Make Money
Stuff on the internet is so much cooler when people are just starting to catch on, and site/app creators do it for the love of the game. Remember Facebook before Sponsored posts? Or YouTube before pre-roll ads? Or… hold on… I guess it’s good that Smosh makes money. I’m a hypocrite. Maybe the thing that’s really irksome here is the need for money at all. Down with money; up with coolness!
What other internet trends make you ill? Let us know in the comments!
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