I am addicted to MTV True Life. I’m not joking, dude. I’m serious. I watch, I kid you not, at least two episodes a night. That’s two hours of my life I’m never getting back...per night. But do I regret it? Hell, no! MTV True Life is the only show I simply must watch whenever it’s on, even if I’ve seen the episode in question four times. It is the reason why God created man and why the Devil created reality television. It is the best show that has ever existed; anyone who thinks otherwise, please meet me in the octagon ASAP.
Marathon and On and On
It's always played in marathon form, giving you an excuse for your antisocial behavior. And now that pretty much every episode in existence is streaming on MTV's website, you'll never have to leave the apartment again! (MTV True Life: I’m Covered in My Own Filth, Watching MTV True Life.)
Better Living Through Watching Awful Lives
Unless you’re Saddam Hussein (But how could you be? He’s dead! And, more to the point, not a Smosh reader!), everyone on MTV True Life, without exception, is worse than you. The overwhelming awfulness of people like the hyper-delusional GG (from MTV True Life: I'm a Sugar Baby) and Hangman (the emotionally abusive goth protagonist of MTV True Life: I Can’t Leave My Boyfriend) are sure to give you a much needed boost of self-esteem. Therapy, shmerapy!
The Ugly World
Think about the last time you've seen "real" (meaning, ugly) people on MTV. It was on True Life, right? Of course it was. True Life lets horrific plebes like you and I shine, warts and all...take THAT, inappropriately monikered teen comedy "Awkward"!
Quotes from Scrotes
Through hours of True Life viewing, I’ve been able to add awesome phrases like "But…that was, like, five gulps!" (from MTV True Life: I'm an Alcoholic) and "Where the f*** are my cheeseballs?" (from MTV True Life: I Have a Summer Share) to my vocabulary. Had I not squandered hours of my life watching True Life, who knows what I’d say whenever someone spilled my Mad Dog 20/20?
Meme-TV
Because it’s filled with gross people, gross problems, and gross quotes, it's meme-tastic! And everybody loves memes, right? This is the damn internet, after all!
I Don’t Want No Uggs
I don’t know about you, but in my book there’s nothing more satisfying than laughing at a sad girl wearing Uggs. It’s like my mama always used to say: "It's OK to mock someone else’s misery, so long as the person in question is wearing Uggs. " Oh, mama...you were so wise...
Fun for the Whole Family!
With MTV True Life, there's something for everyone! Are you really into drama and the shrill voices of irate women? Check out "MTV True Life: I Have a High-Maintenance Girlfriend." Despise taxes but loooove freedom? Tune into "MTV True Life: I Hate the Government." Like watching people type on phones? (Who doesn't?) Screen "MTV True Life: I Have Digital Drama" on your Android. Finally...some schadenfreude the whole family can agree on!
Do you agree that MTV True Life is the best show ever made, or am I gonna have to cut a bitch? Let me know in the comments!
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