The Hollywood studio system sometimes gets things wrong. And no one is more guilty of that than Disney (except maybe every studio equally, but that’s another article for another day). Disney consistently mines incredibly interesting source material (Shakespeare, The Brothers Grimm) and then sanitizes it to the point where it resembles every other feel good story around. Not only that, but they often don’t even focus on what is clearly the most interesting parts of the story, up to, and including, the main character themselves! Here are some of their films that are most guilty of this:
Sleeping Beauty
Oh, so you’ve got a movie that features a witch (who wears one of the best witch costumes of all time) who can TURN INTO DRAGON, and you decided “hey, let’s make this story about some teenager who likes to take naps, and the creep who comes along and kisses her while she’s asleep." Maleficent is such a bad-ass, she’s one of the main villains in all the Kingdom Hearts series. Where’s Sleeping Beauty in that game oh right, nowhere (maybe she pops up somewhere, I don’t remember).
The Little Mermaid
Another witch who didn’t get the movie she deserved, Ursula may not turn into a dragon, but she is HALF-OCTOPUS! This demands an origin story if for no other reason than how the hell did that happen? Everyone is familiar with Mermaids, but octo-witch is not a mythical creature people remember. Also, she’s got a great laugh.
Snow White
A movie about a woman who feels so much pressure to conform to society’s rigid, unfair standard of beauty she goes to impossible lengths, up to poisoning her step-daughter, to achieve it. This summer, come see… Snow White? You made the movie about the girl who hangs out with short guys before slipping into a coma and getting kissed by some creep (this is a pattern in Disney movies)?!?! Alright, weird choice though…
Snow White, Again
Speaking of those “short guys”, what’s their story? No one seems to think it’s odd that Dwarves exist in this world that had otherwise lacked much that was supernatural, so how did they get there? And why are they always mining? Do they have terrible gambling debts? I want dwarf answers, enough with the vapid teenaged girls, Disney!
Beauty & The Beast
This story, from the beginning, should have been about the humans who had become furniture. After all, who loses more if the spell reaches it’s end and the curse can never be broken? At least the beast is still mildly human. Could you imagine being stuck as a candle forever (a lit candle, no less, which raises the question of why he never melts). No, this should have been the story of the Machiavellian plotting done so that the Beast acted at least half-way human, giving Belle just enough time to succumb to Stockholm syndrome. And then it works, but they must live with the consequences of condemning this poor woman to living with a now-human Prince who, let’s face it, is probably still a jerk (you just can’t change people).
The Lion King
People acted like the Hyenas were the bad guys, but what do you expect? The Lions treat them like crap, making them live in some barren, dusty wasteland. You, too, would join forces with an evil uncle if it meant you could a decent meal. But this story is brushed aside so that the entitled son of a king can win his kingdom back? No way, man, I want the tale of the little guy, the underdog, the Joe Lunchpail!
Hercules
They present Hercules’ adoptive parents as saints who try to raise him right, but secretly they must have been TERRIFIED! I mean, there son had super strength. He could have torn them limb from limb, and you know how irritable teenagers are. I want to see them dealing with the terror of knowing that there next parenting decision could be there last.
What art do you think you could do better than the actual artists? Let us know in the comments!
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