Marriages are already gay affairs - one day very soon they will be doubly so! Big gay weddings are the overpriced family gatherings of the future and fictional couples will be feting it up like their real life counterparts for years to come. Love and equality is in the air, here’s who I wish would get to breathe it in.
Burt and Ernie, Sesame Street
Wouldn’t it be a wonderful day if "roommates" Burt and Ernie could finally come out of the felt closet with a big Sesame Street wedding? The very special episode could be brought to you by the equal sign. Until then, we’ll always have Avenue Q.
Xena and Gabrielle, Xena: Warrior Princess
Through Hades and high water Xena and Gabrielle fought and loved side by side. At one point Xena even got knocked up through an immaculate conception (rumored
sperm donor). Surely the gods would approve of their union now?
Mitchell and Cameron, Modern Family
Though a wedding is rumored to be airing in the Spring, so far America’s favorite comedic gay couple have yet to walk down the aisle. And what would be a better gift for the funny couple than Prop 8 being overturned? I hear they’re registered at Crate & Justice.
Tara and Willow, Buffy The Vampire Slayer
La la la la la, I’m not listening. Tara is alive and well and she and Willow are going to raise cats and babies and have an etsy store for wicca crafts and live a long happy life as Scoobies until death do they…oh god! I’m going to cry again.
David and Keith (Again), Six Feet Under
Not to besmirch the nearly perfect finale for Six Feet Under, but the future montage that shows Keith and David getting married in 2009 was too brief. Much like the marriage window in California around that time (saddest rimshot ever. I said rimshot. Rimshot. Not, oh nevermind).
Armand and Albert, The Birdcage
How anyone can watch this 90s classic and not come away with both, “We Are Family” in their head and a new appreciation for families of all shapes and choreography is beyond me.
Neptune and Uranus, Sailor Moon
Four words: Sailor. Fuku. Wedding. Gowns. Too bad they’re just cousins.
Smithers and Mr. Burns, The Simpsons
The bigger obstacle for this couple isn’t the legality of gay marriage in Springfield, it’s the (technically speaking) heterosexuality of Mr. Burns. But from what stand-up comedy has taught me about marriage, sexuality of any kind wont be an issue after "I do". Only "do this".
Any couple you want to see make it official? Who would be on your list? Let me know in the comments!
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