No high school student has ever liked taking a standardized test, but they could never explain to their teachers WHY. Sure, there were some old standbys — they're boring, they're stupid, they take precious, precious time away from lunch, and so on — but none of them really captured the hatable emotion they get when taking these tests. Until now. THe reason students should not take a standardized test is because our time alive is short, and also, YOLO. You Only Live Once. What teacher can argue with YOLO? It is a FACT.
And it will eventually be proven by everyone.
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The standard-bearer for this revolution is Kyron Birdine, a student at Arlington High School who wrote "YOLO" all over the essay portion of his standardized test. He then took a picture of it and Tweeted it to the Texas Education Industry. I can only imagine what their reaction was.
"Goddamnit he's right, gentleman. Let's go buy Mountain Dew,
snowmobiles, and lottery tickets."
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But we know EXACTLY how the officials at Arlington High School took the tweet — they gave Birdine a four-day suspension for what they called a "breach of security". And I mean, I can kind of see that. Birdine DID tweet pictures of a standardized test, which could give an advantage to those who still need to take it. But also, LOOK AT THE PICTURE. There is not a HINT of relevant information displayed. The only tactical advantage these educators could possibly lose from this picture is the fact that the essay provides lines for students to write evenly.
Now all the students who've been working real hard on their
calligraphy are essentially cheating!
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So while the suspension seems excessive on its own, its ESPECIALLY brutal when you consider that this is perhaps the FIRST valid use of the phrase "YOLO" in history. See, the STAAR test, which Birdine wrote "YOLO" on, is replacing the TAKS exam as a graduation standard. But the students who entered high school while the TAKS was still the standard, like Birdine, will still be held to those requirements. So the STAAR test means NOTHING to Birdine. It literally is a waste of his time.
Now, "YOLO" as a phrase comes from people feeling like they're wasting their time and deciding to instead fill it with something important. For Birdine, that was studying for the TAKS exam, which determines whether or not he gets into college. For some people, that means mountain biking off of sports ramp and guzzling aggressive purple beverages.
These people are idiots.
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What's your favorite Texas Education Agency standardized test? Let me know on twitter @mikeyfromsu or in the comments below!
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