It’s legitimately sooo hard to get enough sleep in high school and college. The system isn’t built for you to lead a happy, healthy existence and still get good grades and excel in extracurriculars and social activities. However, you do need to figure out how to work within the existing framework, and that means staying awake in class. Here’s a cheats guide to the game of life.
Ration Your Granola Bar
Every fifteen minutes, you're allowed a bite of granola bar. No electronic timers, no fudging. You're going to have to stay alert and staring at a clock if you want that chocolate chip that’s buried just out of biting range.
Play A Drinking Game
Study your teacher’s verbal tics. (Warning: once they are noticed, they cannot be un-noticed.) Then make up rules like, every time she says, “Um,” you take one sip from your water bottle. “You know...” two sips. “Penis,” chug and giggle.
Decide To Have A Crush On Someone
Even if you don’t currently think anyone in your class is cute, make a conscious decision to like someone. Trust me, minds can be trained. It’s so much more fun to sit in a chair when you’re evaluating whether or not that certain someone is glancing at you with romantic interest or just doing a torso stretch.
Heckle In Your Head
Let’s be honest, those kids that talk back to the teacher are sometimes funny but more than sometimes annoying when they make the teacher angry at everyone. And when the teacher’s miffed, more work is assigned, and you don’t get that “start on your homework” time at the end of class. But that doesn’t mean you can’t THINK funny thoughts. Be the “Last Comic Standing” in your own head, using witty one-liners to heckle the teacher. You won’t be disruptive or have to worry about if what you’re thinking would actually get a laugh.
Need To Pee
Nothing like the threat of publicly peeing your pants to force you to keep your muscles engaged. Coffee is not recommended, as its effects are harder to, uh, control.
Concentrate On Learning
When you get older, you’re going to play trivia at bars for fun, and it’ll help your team if you know those obscure answers that you learned while paying attention in high school. Invest now to feel needed as an adult.
What else do you do to stay awake in class? Let us know in the comments!
Comments
Post a Comment