Be it over a girl, the last piece of pizza, or whose turn it is to bang in their altogether-too-small dorm room, disagreements can arise between even the best of dudebros. So how do you resolve these conflicts? An honest conversation about the way your bros actions have made you feel? HELL NO. That makes you emotionally vulnerable, and there isn't ANYTHING worse than being emotionally vulnerable! So why not fix this problem the way you get the rest of your emotions out: with video games! Here are some multiplayer games to use to settle arguments.
Left 4 Dead
The idea behind playing Left 4 Dead, a co-op zombie-based first person shooter, is to get you and whomever you're arguing with on the same side. Are you going to fight over whose dishes are in the sink when you've got a giant fat-ass Boomer on the attack? Of course not! Left 4 Dead could bring anyone together. If we lived in an alternate timeline where Left 4 Dead existed in the 60s and Kennedy and Krushchev sat down to play together, the Cold War would've been IMMEDIATELY over. Although, we would've lost out on a lot of military advances and, like, 30 James Bond movies, so maybe that timeline is a little TOO dark.
Brink
This is a multiplayer game so bad that anyone playing Brink will IMMEDIATELY do whatever it takes to not be playing Brink. That means that, if you're playing Brink to settle an argument, our quickest and most assured way to stop playing is to adopt your friends' position. Unfortunately, that means your friend will immediately adopt YOUR position, and the argument will be back on, only with the positions switched. That means you'll have to play Brink AGAIN to settle it. It's a horrifying and never-ending cycle, one that some debaters have existed in since Brink came out in 2011. They just play forever, switching positions on a debate they can't even remember.
Power Stone
This lesser-known Dreamcast fighter is a great game to settle an argument, because with such quickly-paced gameplay, Power Stone victories go to whomever wants it more.And if you truly nelieve in your argument, in your cause, the ferocity you fight with is the closest you'll ever come to fighting with God on your side.
Unless of course God literally tells you he is on your side, in which case you're either divine or insane. And in either case, do whatever you want, because, you know. No consequences.
Mario Kart
You don't want to lose your argument to a single lucky headshot, do you? That's why Mario kart is great — it gives you multiple opportunities to make mistakes and still keep your position alive because you have THREE balloons tied to the back of your Mario kart. And also, the fact that it has balloons makes Mario Kart an awesome game, because balloons are just the best. The only way you could not like balloons is if your father or mentor was killed by a balloon. And at that point, man, your father or mentor probably deserved to die. Weak-ass dude can't even handle a balloon. Prfft.
GoldenEye
Man, GoldenEye is just STRESSFUL at this point. Your gun goes wobbling all around, auto aiming all over the place, making you look like a damn fool. Eventually you'll learn to just trust the auto-aim and you'll get kills. It's an exercise in letting go of control. And if you can let go with GoldenEye, you can let go of your insistence that your friend not talk during Game of Thrones.
But of course you won't do that, because it is absolutely unacceptable to talk during Game of Thrones. If we lived in that alternate timeline where Kennedy and Krushchev settled their differences with Left 4 Dead, but Game of Thrones also existed and Krushchev talked while it was on, the Cold War would have been RIGHT back on.
Halo
With Halo, you can just put it all on the table: Whoever gets the most kills wins the argument. So if your roommate thinks you should have giant spikes in your bed strategically placed to puncture your kidneys AND he lands more sticky grenade kills? Well, argument settled. You gotta get RIGHT with losing your organs, you know? You gotta get RIGHT.
What games do you use to settle arguments with your bros? Let me know on Twitter at @mikeyfromsu or in the comments below!
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