One Direction and serial killers have yet another thing in common: women screaming distracts them from their work.
"I do not care for distractions. They... inhibit my delight in actions."
(source)
Xpose Entertainment reports for us the irrefutably meaningful story that One Direction practice to loudly played tracks of simulated girl screams now, for their concerts, because the band's performance has been suffering lately from how loud their rabid girl fans get. Poor young, adorable Louis Tomlinson even seems to be developing deafness in his little ears from how loud the girls get, "It's tinnitus- something like that," he said, "Our fans get very loud." It was then that he crawled by into a giant easter egg and poked the very tip of his head adorably out of the top.
"Zombies are cool and all, but seriously dudes, do you think anyone could ever love me?"
(source)
The band apparently wears high-tech ear pieces and filters because their tiny growing bodies can't handle girl screams at such volumes. Their managers, aka. the old men that keep them in cages and burn them when they aren't being cute enough, say they are still growing boys and every care must be taken so they aren't damaged.
Girl Screams are the greatest weapon we have against One Direction.
(source)
Armed with the knowledge that girl screams can defeat One Direction, we now have a moral obligation to use this information to our advantage. We must rise up against One Direction, capture all the girl screams we can in one Mega-Gun. Amplify them with the best, largest equipment we can find, and aim those girl screams directly at One Direction until they are over powered and sent back to hell, where they came from. I do not like it either, but it is the only way. It's us or them. Whose side are you on?
One Direction were sent back through time to trick us into thinking women were only attractive because they don't know they're attractive. The time has come for us to do something about it.
(source)
Do you not know you're beautiful? Is that why you're beautiful? Let us know in the comments below!
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