The internet is a shifty place! And I don’t just mean "shift" like the key you hold down to get capital letters (hahahahahahaha just a little typing humor, you guys/gals), no, I’m referring to the fact the internet is essentially the old west when it comes to type of villainy and scum you can run into. So, maybe a better analogy is Mos Eisley. Anyway, there are some creepy people out there, and of all of them, I think these are the 7 people on the internet who make me the most uneasy:
People Who Write VERY Sincere Things On Facebook
Look, I get that you think only your friends and close family read your bizarrely personal Facebook entries, but they don’t. People like me do, people you added after you met them at a party once, and now they are really uncomfortable with the frankness you’re exhibiting about your last doctors “exam”.
Commenters Who Have Earned “Badges”
I know the badges all claim to be for different reasons, but really you got them all for the same reason: having way too much spare time on your hands. And, frankly, I’m a little worried about what you do with that spare time once the Huffington Post doesn’t hold so much sway over you.
People Who Talk About Reddit In Real Life
I know this one isn’t technically someone on the internet, but they sure spend a lot of time on there, so I’m counting them. This is the worst because these people show a total disconnect from real life. Oh great, Reddit’s front page had some cool stuff going. You know what else has cool stuff? Life! You’re living it. Right. Now.
Twitter Accounts That Just "@" Reply Celebrities
As crazy as you seem having all these one sided conversations with people you have not, and will never, meet, I’m pretty sure if one of them actually responded to you, you’d be found by the police wearing their skin like a Halloween costume.
All Youtube Commenters
You’re either a spambot, a racist, or someone with really, REALLY strong feelings about religion. No matter which one it is, I like to steer clear.
Anyone Who Watched The Kevin Ware Injury Too Many Time
To be clear, I watched it. I’m pretty sure everyone who heard about it watched it. But here’s the difference! I watched it a couple times, showed it to my roommates, and then that was that. It was shocking, and horrifying, and a reminder of our own frail physical forms. SO WHY DID YOU WATCH IT SO MANY TIMES?! I bet you’re still watching it. You’re also licking your lips while you watch it? Gross!
Anyone Who Is Polite And Thoughtful
What’s your angle, fella?
Who else is untrustworthy? Let us know in the comments!
Check out the 7 Worst Ways People Try To Win Internet Arguments !
Comments
Post a Comment