Karaoke is one of my favorite past times. There is nothing like it. For a brief moment, you get to feel like a total rock star even if you look kind of dumb and can't sing on key. For the most part, anything you pick will be fun as long as you commit to it. There are a few songs that you should never ever perform at karaoke even though they may be awesome songs. Here are the worst karaoke songs.
Justin Bieber - Boyfriend
It's karaoke so you're probably going to be around a member of the opposite sex. Karaoke is a great way to impress that potential mate. You can show them that you like to have a good time and maybe you're fortunate enough to have a good set of pipes. You have to pick a song that was written by an adult. No one who has hit puberty is going to be swooned by the lyric "I could be your Buzz Lightyear."
Snoop Dog - Ain't No Fun
This song says a lot of things that you may not want to say in front of a room full of people. When it gets played on the radio, usually over half of the words are bleeped out. That's a pretty good indicator. Snoop Dogg is great and one of my favorite rappers, but maybe you should pick another song if you don't want to get so embarassed that you have to leave the building. What if someone tapes it and puts it on Facebook? Then you'll be so embarassed that you'll have to leave Facebook and without Facebook, what's the point of living?
Black Sabbath - War Pigs
This is one of my all time favorite songs and it is really fun to sing. The problem is that it has ridiculously long musical breaks. Musical breaks work in songs because they highlight how great the band is. You can really feel the groove when a tight band is going off an a badass extended jam. Karaoke versions of songs usually sound like computerized garbage. I don’t want to listen to a 10 minute guitar solo played on a crappy cheap keyboard.
Radiohead - Creep
This song really lives up to it's namesake. There is nothing creepier than some creepy person singing about being a creep. My favorite part of watching someone attempt this song is that they always forget that there is a really high wailing part of the song. The only sound I've ever heard that was worse is when one time a cat fell asleep in my car engine on a cold winter's night and I started it up the next morning. Don't worry, you guys. The cat was fine. The same can't be said for anyone in the audience listening to someone sing Creep.
Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody
This is one of the greatest rock songs in history, but it has nearly been ruined by being way over sung at karaoke. The vocals in this song are just about perfect. I don't care who you are, you alone are never going to compare the awesomeness of the four members of Queen. I feel that karaoke hosts should immediately throw out anyone who selects Bohemian Rhapsody. The only exception to this rule is if this is the last song played of the night and the entire place sings it together. Well, I guess The Muppets are the other exception. ONLY 2 EXCEPTIONS!
Taylor Swift - We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together
This song is kind of silly. That's what great about it. In the wrong hands, it turns really angry and sad really quick. This is a popular choice with people who have recently been dumped and want to show that they're totally over it. Most people that sing this at karaoke decide to skip the last chorus and do some improvised crying. It's their choice as an artist and you have to respect that.
Busta Rhymes - Break Ya Neck
When he was at his peak, Busta Rhymes was one of the most skilled Mcs in the world. If you can't keep up with Young MC's Bust A Move then don't even bother trying to keep up with Busta. You're basically going to end up sounding like this, "Mumble mumble mumble mumble yeah mumble mumble mumble come on mumble mumble stop." If you can actually keep up with this song then this should be the only song you're allowed to sing. I've never seen it in all my life, but I have dreamed about some quick tongued hero saving me from this dull life.
Rebecca Black - Friday
Obviously no one is going to ever do this song seriously. It's a terrible song and we all know that. This would have been funny if you had sung it when it came out, but you've missed the boat. You may still get a few chuckles when you first start the song, but the crowd's generosity will soon turn to blood lust. They will be so desperate for the song to end that the crowd will rush the stage and rip you apart with their bare hands.
What's your favorite karaoke jam and why? Let me know on twitter @zachlunch or in the comments below!
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