It’s true. Last week an adult film star from the Netherlands tweeted that she would perform special favors on each and every of her online followers if her country’s team won the World Cup.
She even enlisted some of her adult co-actresses to help her out and she’s already gained over 50,000 followers in under a week.
She might be merely one-upping the Paraguayan model who offered to run naked through the streets of her capital city if team Paraguay were to win. After Paraguay lost, she promised to do it anyway.
That’s all well and good but don’t forget that we have some pretty loyal soccer fans here in America.
Here are what some diehard fans had promised to do if team U.S. had won.
Florida resident and adventurer Hildalgo Farescamo offered to wrestle every alligator in the Everglades National Park if Team USA was triumphant.
School bully Billy Conklin had agreed to kick every nerd at Middlebury Junior High in the groin on the first day of school if Team USA had won.
Hildebrand Stubblesworth, America’s #1 blind certified barber, was offering free haircuts on game days whether Team USA won or not.
My cousin Gerald was planning on high-fiving every resident of his apartment complex the night of the winning game, after he got off work at the Quizno’s in Van Nuys, California.
Star Wars fanatic Christy Daniels was going to teach a free sexy pole dancing fitness class to all of her fellow Battle of Tatooine re-enactors at next year’s Comic Con.
Fifth-level Shaolin master Dennis Kim was planning on fighting every power tool in the country to the death, had the U.S. taken first place.
Professional body builder Sabrina Carmichael was going to swim to the bottom of the ocean and clamp the Gulf Oil Leak shut with her powerful buttocks.
Amateur raver and part-time Lenscrafters employee Bert Gussler, was going to join a gym and never take his shirt off in public again.
Former flower child and retired elementary school teacher Esmeralda Stephen was looking forward to hugging every rainbow in the sky had the U.S. sealed a World Cup victory.
Passion Of The Christ director and Hollywood mogul Mel Gibson promised to get drunk, say a bunch of crazy racist things and maybe punch a woman holding a baby if the U.S. won.
However, sources close to Gibson who refused to be indentified for this article said that there was a good chance that he might end up doing these things anyway.
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