Recently a flight attendant was fired after putting a baby in the overhead bin during what can only be described as the most dangerous game of peek-a-boo ever played (well, at least according to the baby’s mom, who is suing of course).
And while I definitely don’t advise storing babies up there, I can think of a few things that would be way worse.
Fish Flip Flops
Five hours in the air with these souvenirs will bring new meaning to the words gag gift.
Uncovered bowl of fruit punch
With turbulence, it's just going to get messy. You need to keep this on your lap, where you can control (and enjoy, if you have a straw) it.
Evil Green Pigs
Seriously… 747s have been damaged by a pigeon flying into just one of its jet engines. Can you imagine what a slingshot full of angry birds would do?
A Gay Unicorn
I get why you might wanna put him up there—he just has a knack for making people super duper uncomfortable. But the stress of being in a confined space will only put this magical creature’s digestive system into a tailspin. And trust me… you don’t know the meaning of unearthly smell until you’ve been in an enclosed space with a flurry of glitter farts.
The Rickroll Meme
Every time someone goes looking for something they don’t really need they will be inadvertently opening a link to madness. Stop it already with this meme. It’s old. It makes people wanna stab. And do you really wanna be stabbed with an airline-safe plastic butter knife?
Samara From The Ring
Need I remind you? Her mama pushed her down a well, which made this creepy freak just a little bit claustrophobic. So sure… stick her in a bin. Relax. Enjoy your flight. Until she crawls out of the screen during the in-flight movie and makes you go poopy in your pants.
The Ark Of The Covenant
The last thing you need is someone scrambling to find their bag and accidentally opening up the Ark, unleashing its unholy power and setting off a chain reaction of instant face melts. And Indiana Jones won’t be around to save your stupid a**… he vowed never to fly again after seeing ‘Snakes on Plane.’
Evil Pokemon
This guy eats the heads off small children when he's in a GOOD mood, imagine how he's gonna feel after experiencing turbulence for the first time while locked in that tiny ovehead compartment. Better to put him under your seat in a pet carrier.
Monkey-Faced Masculine Leia
Nothing says bad juju more than this 1995 re-issued action figure. It’s downright dark-sided! And when you’re flying 30,000 feet in the air you really, really want the force to be with you. Come on TSA… no carry-on item is more dangerous than bad juju!
Two Guidettes Who Are Dating The Same Guy
Flying through a tropical storm system is nothing compared to the turbulence caused by two skanks cat-fighting over some d-bag in a space the size of a tanning bed. For the love of Snooki… don’t do it!
A Honey Badger
A lot of people put their most valuable items in their carry-on bag. So it would be pretty inconsiderate to put a honey badger up there. He would just spend the whole trip rifling through people’s personal items looking for a juicy cobra. You think the honey badger cares? Honey badger just takes what it wants. Honey badger doesn’t give a sh*t about anyone else’s luggage.
What are some other things you should never put in the overhead bins? Let us know in the comments!
Comments
Post a Comment