In this economy you do everything you can to hold on to a job. But sometimes the company has other plans for your career. And that’s when you notice the following signs that you’re not long for that office.
1. Everyone is surprised when you show up
The warning signs begin when you arrive to work only for everyone to look at you with wide-eyes, slack jaws and downturn thumbs. As you approach conversations halts, only to resume again in hushed tones with such phrases as “I don’t understand,” “Why is here?” and “Did he come back to kill us all?” Eventually all is explained when one of your coworkers says, “Oh, that’s right. It isn’t Thursday yet.”
2. You're neither informed nor invited to flee the building during a fire
As the hallways fill with smoke, coworkers run screaming past your cubicle and fire and news trucks converge on your building, you get a text from your supervisor saying you need to stay in to revise your expense account ASAP. When you text to ask what all the commotion is about he replies, “Leave that to the ‘big picture’ guys.” When you ask if he can stop by to explain what’s wrong with your expense account he answers, “Can’t. I’m already past the 5-mile danger zone.”
3. You’re introduced to new employees as “and the rest”
As your supervisor leads the new employee through the office, introducing them to everyone on staff, she eventually reaches your cubicle with a heavy sigh. Then after a long moment as she grasps for the right words, your boss gestures to you and says, “This…this thing…” only to fall silent again. Eventually your boss leans in and whispers something to the newbie, causing both to laugh uproariously before walking off, shaking their heads in bemusement and disgust.
4. You receive a critical review during your birthday party
You walk into the office pantry to be greeted with a big cake, several staff members yelling “SURPRISE!” and your boss holding your employment records and asking you to take a seat. That’s when you notice the icing on your cake reads “Happy Birthday Employment Reassessment.” Then as everyone else happily gets a slice and don party hats, they gather around in a circle and watch as your supervisor opens up your records and sternly comments, “The coconut frosting isn’t the only horrible mistake in this room today…”
5. When you offer a suggestion at a brainstorm meeting you are told “Too little, too late”
Nothing says you’re being phased out of a company like having your every idea, your every suggestion, your every choking fit or epileptic seizure ignored by all around. You find yourself raising your hand for upwards of an hour before your boss finally says, “We’re done here.” You offer what you think is a brilliant proposal only to be met with a sarcastic slow clap or a thrown knife. And when you give a presentation everyone in the room starts to chant “CRY! CRY! CRY!,” including your own staff and the janitorial crew.
6. Your request for an office chair after yours is stolen is greeted with “That won’t be necessary”
You come into work one morning only to realize your chair has been stolen. The next day your find your computer is missing. The next day you find all the photos of friends and family pinned to your walls have been X’d out with a marker. Then your desk disappears, followed by your cubicle walls and finally the flooring, leaving you to balance delicately on exposed pipes and 15’ foot gaps as you stand alone in the middle of the office with no one saying a word except “Mine!” as they run off with your suit jacket.
7. Whenever you mention your future with the company your boss does a spit-take
Every time you ask about a raise your boss your boss says, “Why would we pay you more not to be here?” Every time you ask about a promotion your boss walks away only to return and say, “You didn’t really ask that, did you?” And every time you mention career advancement your boss says, “You know, not every bird was meant to soar to great heights. I mean, look at the penguin. Boy, I bet a penguin could do your job so much better than you.”
8. You show up to work Monday morning only then to realize the company has moved
Nothing says you’re no longer part of the team like finding out several hundred people moved en masse under cover of darkness just to avoid working with you anymore. No warning. No calls. Just an automated email response the next day stating which landfill or local pond your office possessions have been stored in.
What are some other clues that you might be on the short list for termination? Share below!
Comments
Post a Comment