Justin Bieber Tops List Of Hollywood's Richest Teens

Desi Jedeikin

Just when you thought you couldn't hate him any more...Immabout to give you another reason. The Biebs was just named Hollywood's richest teen, raking in 53 million buckaroos last year alone. Which makes sense because only really rich people with really bad taste can afford solid gold jeans.

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The list also included Taylor Lautner, Jaden Smith and Nick Jonas. Are we sure this isn't a list of the most annoying teens in Hollywood?  I mean come on...Nick Jonas? Makes you feel good that a talentless virgin who you endlessly mock  is rich enough to destroy you and all you love if he ever turns into an evil super-villain who has a vendetta against you. Actually that would probably make me like  Nick Jonas better. But I will NEVER like Kevin Jonas. NEVER!  Sorry Justin I'm saying never! You can NEVER take that pleasure away from me you rich little brat.

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Of course we can't forget number two on the list... Miss Miley Cyrus. Who I guess earned a boatload of money on some world tour or something. Cause if there's one singer you really wanna experience live, it's definitely Miley.  I'm pretty sure she's already blown her money on salvia, various healing ointments and supporting an entourage of people who claim to like her.

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So yes, sadly this is the world we now live in. A world where someone like Justin Bieber can inspire little ladies to spend all their babysitting money on anything he puts up for tweenage consumption. Stop hiring these girls to watch your kids, people! 

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This kind of money is definitely what you can expect when you have an irrationally devoted fan following. And Bieber fans are the most irrational around. 

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I mean these girls freak out when they can't give him their money! Like this fan in Mexico, who found out his concert was sold out.  It's okay baby. In a few years he'll be a beer-bellied has-been and you'll wonder why you ever threw yourself to the ground, snot-crying like a crazy person to begin with. I'm actually wondering that now...WHAT THE HELL GURRRLL?

 

So am I the only one all depressed that I'll probably never make as much money as Justin Bieber? Let's commiserate in the comments! And YES! I am jealous!

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