Teenage girls have one thing in common: they can be a real bunch of a**holes. Anywho who disagrees with me has never tried to sit at their table at lunch. Catty, jealous, and in a hormone frenzy, they can barely control themselves. So how would things be different if they controlled the military?
We Would Invade Mozambique Because Mozambique Thinks It's All That
Well, it does!
Only Gay Men Would Be Allowed To Join.
At least they know how to listen.
The Military Would Blow Up Its Own Tanks
Everyone's worried about the military, but it's totally just doing it for attention.
Weapons Would Have More Personality
OMG OMG that Anti-Aircraft Vehicle needs WAYYYY more Totoro stickers on it.
Predator Drones Would Get Inexplicably Mad And Storm Off Crying In The Middle Of Key Missions
If you don't know why I'm mad then why should I tell you it's not like you're going to get it anyways!!!
Justin Bieber Would Be Chained To A USO Stage And Never Allowed To Leave
He's been performing for eleven weeks without food and water, but I don't care how malnourished he gets he is still totally cute!
# 1 Mission: Get Bobby Jenkins To Notice Me
Come on Bobby Jenkins! I'm the commander in Chief of the United States armed forces! I've sent every single soldier, plane, and tank with anonymous notes from me! I spray them with my perfume! What do I have to do to get you to notice me! I swear to whatever if you don't ask me to the Winter Formal this year I will so start a full scale police action in Bulgaria!
What other differences would there be if teen girls were in charge of the military? Let us know in the comments!
Check Out These Teen Girl Magazine Articles That Blow My Mind!
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