Car Safety Tips from the Twisted Metal Drivers

Mikey McCollor

Twisted Metal is back on the PlayStation 3 and it's got more ways to murder your friends in online or split screen multiplayer than ever before! Of course, with all these new options are a lot of opportunities for unsafe driving. Here we have some of the clowns and priest monsters from Twisted Metal to give you some tips on playing it safe when you get out on the road.  

 

Always buckle up

(source)

OR YOU'LL GO TO HELLLLLL.

 

Be careful of deer in the road

(source)

Deer are a common driving hazard in country roads. And be warned, they often travel in groups, so don't use all your napalm on the first one.

 

Use the S method when parallel parking

(source)

If you don't parallel park with the S method you'll NEVER be beautiful NEVER NEVER NOT EVER!

 

Don't make assumptions about what the other driver's going to do

(source)

OR BOTH OF YOU WILL GO TO HELLLLLL.

 

Don't pass when there's a solid yellow line on your side

(source)

If you violate that law your wish from Calypso is invalidated! Calypso takes solid yellow lines INCREDIBLY seriously.

 

If you're unsure about whether or not to turn your headlights on, turn your headlights on

(source)

Don't have headlights? YOUR GUN CAN BE A HEADLIGHTS.

 

At least use SMOG

(source)

SMOG, of course, is a helpful anagram to remember how to change lanes. It stands for Signal, Mirror, Over the shoulder, Go. If you don't use SMOG YOU'LL GO TO HELLLLLLL. 

 

Use MOSMOG

(source)

IF YOU USE SMOG INSTEAD OF MOSMOG YOU'LL GO TO PURGATORRRRRY.

Have these Twisted Metal tips been helpful? Let us know (safely) in the comments!

 

Check out How to Tell if your Life is a Video Game!

Comments