Francesco Marciuliano
Everything about how we communicate—texting, Facebook chats, Twitter—keeps improving. But for some reason we’re still stuck using the very same emoticons from years ago (with slight alterations to eyes, mouths, or even angrier red cheeks). What we need now are new emoticons that do more than simply express when we’re happy, in love, or sobbing so hard it looks like four-pound tears are falling from our eyes. We need the following very, very specific faces to help us really get our message across…
“Please stop turning every damn thread into an excuse for your angry political rants, especially since this is a My Little Pony forum.”
“I can’t tell if you’re flirting with me or not so I’m just going to leave this face on screen until you either say something sexy or immediately sign off.”
“I’m one behind every one of your comments I’ve responded to, so please know that when I said ‘Oh cool!’ it was for your new job, and not for your severed thumb.”
“For the sake of making me feel better about my horrible spelling can we just agree that the last 12 mistakes were Autocorrect’s fault?”
“The reason I’m taking so long to respond each time is because I’m trying to impress you with facts I’m just now learning through Google.”
“Everything I’m typing now I’m doing so while drunk, which means everything I just wrote is the absolute truth but you should act like it’s not.”
What kind of emoticon would you like to see? Let us know in the comments!
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